When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

[sweetcell]

thanks, jules!

i'm still awaiting your humorously disparaging commentary on the canadians.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

i'm still awaiting your humorously disparaging commentary on the canadians.

I have never said anything disparaging against Canadians, that's Smackie. I think Canada is great. I was in Montreal last month.

[grateful]

"Some of my best friends are Canadians"

[sweetcell]

i'm still awaiting your humorously disparaging commentary on the canadians.

I have never said anything disparaging against Canadians, that's Smackie. I think Canada is great. I was in Montreal last month.

in sincerely apologize.  i was sure that at some point you had taken some pot-shots at canuckistan, but a search has shown that you have done no such thing.  i take it all back.

[sweetcell]

'Americans everywhere' as wind blows 1,500 U.S. partiers to Canada

An estimated 1,500 Americans illegally and unexpectedly washed up in Canada late Sunday after strong winds blew them across the St. Clair River near Sarnia, Ont.

They were participating in the annual Port Huron Float Down, during which people simply float down the river on rafts, inner tubes and other flotation devices from Port Huron, Mich.

High winds pushed them to a number of points along the Canadian shore. They had to be rescued by Sarnia police, the OPP, the Canadian Coast Guard, Canada Border Service Agency and employees from a nearby chemical company Lanxess Canada

continued: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/floatdown-sarnia-americans-wash-ashore-1.3730792

lol... michiganers michiganders. 

'We do love Canada': Americans aim to repay Sarnia for $8K rescue of floating partiers
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/float-down-sarnia-1.3733788

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Lobster Festival Forced to Eat Hot Dogs After Airline Loses Lobsters

[DeathFromAbove1979]

Lobster Festival Forced to Eat Hot Dogs After Airline Loses Lobsters

lmao

[betao]

Man tries to rob store with sword; finds clerk also has a sword

http://globalnews.ca/news/2169438/watch-man-tries-to-rob-store-with-sword-finds-clerk-also-has-a-sword/

[walk,on,by]

Man tries to rob store with sword; finds clerk also has a sword

http://globalnews.ca/news/2169438/watch-man-tries-to-rob-store-with-sword-finds-clerk-also-has-a-sword/

I call snatch.  That's right; I said snatch.  The man was robbing the store with a machete, not a sword.  Good god, think of the children who have to read this stuff.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Teacher fired for sex with student, finds work in missionary position

Pardon the general "Golly, I'm Bri'ish"-ness of the writing.

[Space Freely]

http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/294708-gingrich-coughs-while-remarking-on-clintons-coughing

[betao]

Norwegian Black Metal Legend Runs For Town Council As A Joke; Wins Unexpectedly

http://www.factmag.com/2016/09/12/fans-elect-black-metal-legend-fenriz-to-town-council-darkthrone/

Fenriz jokingly shared a photo of himself holding his cat (whose name roughly translates to Peanut Butter) specifically asking people to not vote for him. Now he will be required to serve as Councilman Gylve Fenris Nagell for four years before stepping down is an option.

[Justin Tonation]

This just might be the most insipid "inspirational" thing I've ever seen litter my FB feed.

[sweetcell]

i saw something almost identical on my feed recently...   something to the effect that "the grass is not greener on the other side.  it is greener wherever you put effort into making it green".

is this a guerrilla marketing campaign from the lawn care industry?!?  if so, isn't their timing a little off?

[betao]

I live in the city. I don't have any grass to water.