When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

[grateful]

Bake news: ‘Dangerous’ beast in tree turns out to be croissant

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/croissant-tree-poland-animal-b1831943.html

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

US Senator blames a has been Popstar for a suspicious package at home.

[Justin Tonation]

Drug dealer identified by photo of cheese he posted on encrypted messaging service

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

BuzzFeed News Has Won Its First Pulitzer Prize

[Yada]

https://www.newsweek.com/how-much-little-girl-man-arrested-after-asking-purchase-8-year-old-girl-1606078

[Yada]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/uk-may-soon-ban-boiling-080021196.html

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

TIL :Boiling crustaceans alive is currently illegal in a few countries, including Switzerland and New Zealand.

[Bagley]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/uk-may-soon-ban-boiling-080021196.html

This would please David Foster Wallace

[Yada]

https://nypost.com/2021/07/18/athletes-to-sleep-on-anti-sex-cardboard-beds-at-olympic-games/amp/

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

https://nypost.com/2021/07/18/athletes-to-sleep-on-anti-sex-cardboard-beds-at-olympic-games/amp/

nice.  Anti-Sex Bed might be a good band name

this line killed me after discussing the 160k condoms they will hand out...
This year, Olympic officials insist the rubber is for athletes to bring home to spread the message of safe sex.

[sweetcell]

https://nypost.com/2021/07/18/athletes-to-sleep-on-anti-sex-cardboard-beds-at-olympic-games/amp/

nice.  Anti-Sex Bed might be a good band name

this line killed me after discussing the 160k condoms they will hand out...
This year, Olympic officials insist the rubber is for athletes to bring home to spread the message of safe sex.

Cardboard beds in Olympic Village draw jokes from athletes and the internet

[Yada]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/dc-family-can-t-access-5-8m-cryptocurrency-wallet-asking-for-help/ar-AAMpmWj?ocid=entnewsntp


https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-williams-get-wallet?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

[Starsky]

I try to be understanding but I think these crypto currencies are for morons and if you are getting jacked shouldn’t you turn to all the people making money hand over fist with crypto?


I mean I just don’t see this as a hardship case…it’s like saying “hey I barely spent any money but could be really rich help me be really rich while you continue to be poor!”


At the very least anyone helping these people should - if these people are successful- collect the funds they contributed to make it possible plus a 100% premium

Or am I missing something?!?

[Justin Tonation]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/dc-family-can-t-access-5-8m-cryptocurrency-wallet-asking-for-help/ar-AAMpmWj?ocid=entnewsntp


https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-williams-get-wallet?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

GFM created 7 days ago. Zero supporters.

[Yada]

I try to be understanding but I think these crypto currencies are for morons and if you are getting jacked shouldn’t you turn to all the people making money hand over fist with crypto?


I mean I just don’t see this as a hardship case…it’s like saying “hey I barely spent any money but could be really rich help me be really rich while you continue to be poor!”


At the very least anyone helping these people should - if these people are successful- collect the funds they contributed to make it possible plus a 100% premium

Or am I missing something?!?

hutch, you just confirmed why this should be in the "When reality reflects The Onion" thread.