sometimes my brain feels heavy, as if the weight of life is causing an actual tumor like drag upon the need to wake up everyday and continue on amongst the normal. sometimes i want to escape and join a circus or at least a difference of daily landscape, leaving behind everything i fought for in this life of simply making it. one day is the depression, one day is the elevation. one day is the brightness, one day is the blahness. maybe i need more vitamins, maybe i need more money. i think a sense of purpose is far fetched underrated . . . and most times i dont try hard enough to believe in my own existence flavored conscious sicle. life is always difficult when you attempt to blindly sail through the seas of hard times where your ride is a racket and your destination is obscured. where is my angled enlightenment. where is my forever dream.