I almost died.  seriously.
not, fun.
but . . . I became a completely different person afterwards, who has lost all their inner depression / anger / self doubt / and negativity about myself and am left as an empty shell of hope / determination / pride / self worth as some one who is creative, smart, and can offer the world something. 
it, was, worth, it.  yes, god . . . it was.  so stop frowning at me.