I think part of the problem is that there is this mind set that "American lives matter more than peoples lives in developing countries"
Unless you have family and friends in developing countries, who wouldn't be of that opinion?
because I'm human and I care about the welfare of others that I'm not family or friends with
You care about the welfare of a stranger in a far-flung foreign land as much as you care about the welfare of someone from your own family?
You're conflating two things. I care about my family more than a stranger not because my family is from America and the stranger is not, but because I personally know them. The same is true if the stranger is from Oregon. One's affection for those they are closest to is generally not a byproduct of jingoism.
OTOH, the idea that a stranger from the US should be favored over a stranger from another country, like Sidehatch is talking about, is pure nationalism. Apples, oranges.