My Journey into Becoming Single Again at Age 45

[Yada]

There's a new playa in town

One thing is for sure, that dude's willing to lay it down to anything with a pulse; blacks, muslims, greasy blonde congressional staff... way to go guy!

[Space Freely]

There's a new playa in town

One thing is for sure, that dude's willing to lay it down to anything with a pulse; blacks, muslims, greasy blonde congressional staff... way to go guy!

He's probably a 45 year old bald guy.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

greasy blonde congressional staff...

Let's be careful the language we use to describe Julian's Americans, ok?

[sweetcell]

He's probably a 45 year old bald guy.

again, let's be careful the language we use to describe Julian's Americans, ok?

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

He's probably a 45 year old bald guy.

again, let's be careful the language we use to describe Julian's Americans, ok?

hey...we are members of a protected class you fucking hairy headed bastards
means you are high in estrogen you girly men

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

He's probably a 45 year old bald guy.

again, let's be careful the language we use to describe Julian's Americans, ok?

Ok, well played.

[Relaxer]

Well I have that guy beat. I'm a 47 year old bald guy. Who's crying sadly now?!?

[herman otto]

what, is your favorite position?

what, is your favorite sex act?

what, is your favorite fetish, that you will admit to openly?

What, is your favorite place to have sex?

Do, you like to make love, or to fuck?

What, is your safe word?

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

are you interviewing relaxer for a job?

[herman otto]

More like, a residency.

[Relaxer]

what, is your favorite position?

Director of Communications

what, is your favorite sex act?

The woman at that Cambodian bar that poured dish lotion in her toilet area and then blew bubbles at us like a sexy machine gun.

what, is your favorite fetish, that you will admit to openly?

What, is your favorite place to have sex?

In a vagina.

Do, you like to make love, or to fuck?

I prefer to exchange underwear and then shout obscenities at each other from across the room. 

What, is your safe word?

The entirety of Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

[herman otto]

the diaper thing, may well be, the creepiest fetish, next to double fisting, out there.

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

...I don't get Macrophilia

[sweetcell]

On behalf of 90% of dudes here:

My girlfriend

WHY ARE YOU SETTLING?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT WILL BECOME OF THIS THREAD?!?!?

[Relaxer]

Because she's a 34 year old gorgeous nymphomaniac who has fixed more than a dozen things in my house and often says, hey babe if you need your 'executive time' to go chew and type on the internet, I'll go play Skyrim for awhile, oh and I brought a picnic basket of weed gummies for you. See ya soon!"