5 Things we Learned from the Confederations Cup3. Don't moan about the vuvuzelas
"Those African trumpets?" Xabi Alonso said with a look of genuine disgust. "They make a terrible noise. I don't think it's a very good idea to have them on sale outside the grounds. Here's a piece of advice for Fifa: they should try to ban those things. It's not distracting but that noise is a bit annoying."
It seems like an innocent enough comment. Why, after all, shouldn't Alonso complain if something irks him? But it prompted fury among South African fans and was, it seems, part of the reason why the home crowd got behind the US in their semi-final victory over Spain. "South Africa is a noisy country," blasted a leader in the Daily Sun. "Foreigners should get used to it." A letter in the same paper, meanwhile, accused Alonso of being a modern-day conquistador.
You may know that the idea they're connected to the myth that baboons are killed by loud noise is farcical. You may know that they've only really been around for four or five years. You may despair of people who tell you that they're part of African football (they're not: I've been to three African Cups of Nations and heard the drumming of the Beninois and the Ivorians, the trumpets and trombones of the Nigerians, even the banjo-playing of Ali, the grinning and omnipresent Tunisian, but I'd never heard a vuvuzela until a fortnight ago). You may be driven slowly insane by them. But it's probably best not to mention it.
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And I'll add #6 - the US is A LOT better than anybody thought, and that includes many Americans, myself included.