COPS VS. CICADAS ...
"You're not a cop, are you?" Oh, if only we had a nickel for each time we have uttered that phrase! But it's a useful question to ask. And with Cop Week (
http://www.nleomf.com/NatPolWeek/schedule04.html) upon us, it becomes especially useful, since it is often difficult to tell cops from regular revelers at the local watering holes. Throw the friendly cicada into the mix, and things become even more difficult.
That's right: The cops AND the cicadas are a-comin', ready to swarm all over the greater DC area and claim it as their own! Don't worry. They'll both leave you alone if you don't bother them.
Don't know what a cicada is? Check out this link (
http://abbot.si.edu/highlight/cicadas/faq.htm) for more information.
Still not sure what a cicada is? Still afraid you will confuse the harmless cicada with the friendly cop at Cop Week? Fear not! Ghost Man is here with ...
How to Tell the Difference Between Cops and Cicadas:
- A cicada will never buy your girlfriend a beer.
- A cicada will never offer you 20 bucks for your panties.
- The women on your team will never abandon you to talk to a cicada.
- If it wears a suggestive T-shirt, it is not a cicada.
- If it has a mustache, it is not a cicada.
- If it sings loudly and out of tune, it might be a cicada.
- One clings to your leg and stares up at you with spooky red eyes. The other is an insect with a 17-year life cycle.
- If it accidentally becomes entangled in your hair and you shriek madly and flail about until it releases and falls on the floor with a splat, it might not be a cicada.
- A cop will never lay its eggs in a tree.
- If it talks about how much it detests paperwork, pervs, and perps, it's a cop.
- If it calls loudly in search of a mate, it is a cop.
- If it molts beforehand, it is a cicada.
