In band/out of band relationships?

[redsock]

So, i'm curious, for any of you either in bands (not too many) or those of you who have dated folks in bands....how you manage/managed it. My girlfriend is in a local band with her sister and two other guys...and it's tough. We are in love (no awwwww's please), ane are at least thinking about a serious future together. But they practice at least three days/nights a week, plus time spent on writing music, promoting the band, gigs, etc...., plus work and life stuff. I mean, it's not easy, and they are really just getting off the ground -- all things considered. Obviously, you compromise, and sacrifice, especially if you both realize you want to be with the other person. And we are both very happy, I just wished i saw her more. It's kinda tough too, since I am not a musician, to be able to relate to some of the stuff they are working on. I'm kinda jealous of the other folks, cause they can relate to her passion. But I still a super supporter the band, it's her dream you know, so that makes it our dream. Who knows, this band may fizzle, though they are good, but still, it is the now that is hard.
 
 So, any bad or good stories to relate? I'm curious.

[ggw]

She's banging the drummer, isn't she?

[thirsty moore]

GGW -- your response made me laugh out loud.
 
 Redsock -- What happens on the road stays on the road.  All jokes aside though, you seem to want to be able to relate to her passion.  Well, you are a fan already.  So why don't you pick up a guitar and practice when she's off at band practice.

[redsock]

Originally posted by thirsty moore:
  GGW -- your response made me laugh out loud.
 
 Redsock -- What happens on the road stays on the road.  All jokes aside though, you seem to want to be able to relate to her passion.  Well, you are a fan already.  So why don't you pick up a guitar and practice when she's off at band practice.

The one thing i don't need to worry about is sex with bandmates or random fans. for many reason, thats just not gonna happen.
 
 And since we've been together I have been trying to teach myself guitar and I'm taking piano lessons. Mostly for myself, but I'd be lying if I didn't say some of it was to understand her.

[mankie]

Regardless of what the hopeless romantics say, love does NOT conquer all, and if you don't share the same passion for the band as she does, sooner or later she's going to meet someone who does, or you're going to meet someone with similar interests to you....If it's meant to be it will be. I wouldn't sit at home while she's at practice though, you need to live your life too.

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

I remember I used to date Courtney Love. Man did her breath stink. She used to go on about how she thought she was Marlon Brando's granddaughter. Man, I just had to bail.

[redsock]

Originally posted by mankie:
   and if you don't share the same passion for the band as she does, sooner or later she's going to meet someone who does, or you're going to meet someone with similar interests to you....

Well we do both share a huge passion for music. It's just that she can play it, and I can't at the moment. If I hated music, well that's be different. And I wouldn't be posting on this board.

[thirsty moore]

Mankie does bring up a good point.  Also, something to notice.  Are you the only one concerned about the fact that both of you aren't seeing that much of each other?

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

I think it's fine to have differing passions. Though it is better for the person who is less passionate about something to at least be interested in it, and to support their partners passion.
 
    Sounds like you are on the right track. The most important thing is that you are passionate about each other.

[SPARX]

Become their manager or roadie.Then you can share EVERYTHING!!!Not always a good idea.Seperate interests can be a good  thing,you don't really want a clone do you?As long as you still share some common passions,you'll be fine.Don't obsess over it,it'll only make it worse.

[ggw]

Can you join the band?
 
 Maybe they need a tambourine player.  Or a roadie.

[mankie]

Originally posted by redsock:
 

Well we do both share a huge passion for music. It's just that she can play it, and I can't at the moment. If I hated music, well that's be different. And I wouldn't be posting on this board. [/b]

I did say "same passion for the band".
 
 If she ends up devoting more and more time to the band at the expense of time with you, I'd say that's your answer.

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

Yes, women who are passionate about their careers suck, don't they?
 
 

Originally posted by mankie:
   

Originally posted by redsock:
 

Well we do both share a huge passion for music. It's just that she can play it, and I can't at the moment. If I hated music, well that's be different. And I wouldn't be posting on this board. [/b]

I did say "same passion for the band".
 
 If she ends up devoting more and more time to the band at the expense of time with you, I'd say that's your answer. [/b]

[redsock]

Originally posted by thirsty moore:
  Mankie does bring up a good point.  Also, something to notice.  Are you the only one concerned about the fact that both of you aren't seeing that much of each other?

No, we both talk about it. She knows she's not being a really good girlfriend, and actually seems to know what one is. i'm not stressing over this, nor looking for relationship advice, we're cool...maybe i'm just looking for a success story.

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

The last time I dated a musician, I was 23. The last time I saw her, I walked in on her having a threesome with her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. Pretty much told me that relationship was over.