When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

[grateful]

Weight gain is a side effect of certain medications

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Weight gain is a side effect of certain medications

Oh, fuck off. Does the medication shovel the mashed potatoes directly into her mouth? Does the medication stop the fundamental laws of thermodynamics from working? Does the medication -- which almost certainly did not affect her metabolism in any real significant way but let's pretend -- make her incapable of increasing her calories burned through exercise or reducing her food intake to counterbalance her the effect of her medications? She's fat because she's a lazy, stupid being. Your constant fat acceptance on here is disgusting and nauseating. It's the moral equivalent of bringing a case of vodka and a kilo of coke to a rehab center.

[grateful]

Your thinking is cloudy, and your judgement seems impaired.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Your thinking is cloudy, and your judgement seems impaired.

[grateful]

Has he never heard of thyroid disorders?

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Has he never heard of thyroid disorders?

How are you not smart enough to get this? Let's say someone has a thyroid disorder which causes their metabolism to slow greatly and reduces their BMR to, let's pretend, 1100 calories/day. You know what you do? YOU EAT 1,100 CALORIES A DAY. THAT IS ALL THE FUEL THAT HYPOTHETICAL PERSON NEEDS.

[vansmack]

Shark Survives Attack by Australian Surfer

[killsaly]

http://time.com/3969164/beijing-arrest-spartan-warriors-salad-sweetie/
Foreigners Dressed as Spartans Freak Out the Beijing Police and Get Arrested

[Justin Tonation]

Blackface Show Benefitting Cops Indicted In Freddie Gray Death Nixed

[DeathFromAbove1979]

What a confusing headline

[vansmack]

Risque Photo alert:

Claude Von Stroke?s London office has been inundated with sex workers after the DJ advertised for a ?London based Dirtybird intern?.

[Stig-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

Minor League Baseball Team Apologizes For Corey Feldman Concert

As USA Today reports, the team has now issued an apology for the performance ? partially because the women were scantily clad and people might not have been expecting that, and partially because of how much it sucked

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Women's Running magazine puts morbidly obese woman who appears incapable of running more than a few feet on their cover

Seriously? "3 Reasons why your weight doesn't matter"? I'm pretty sure people run much quicker when their BMI is below 50.

[grateful]

Women's Running magazine puts morbidly obese woman who appears incapable of running more than a few feet on their cover

Seriously? "3 Reasons why your weight doesn't matter"? I'm pretty sure people run much quicker when their BMI is below 50.

What are the three reasons?

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Women's Running magazine puts morbidly obese woman who appears incapable of running more than a few feet on their cover

Seriously? "3 Reasons why your weight doesn't matter"? I'm pretty sure people run much quicker when their BMI is below 50.

What are the three reasons?

Oddly enough, in reviewing my periodical selection, it appears I let my subscription to Women's Running lapse, so I couldn't tell you what rambling, feelings-based pseudoscience they came up with.