5 years today.
RIP Brother.
Cannot believe it's been over 5 years. And his birthday is coming up too. Which is another tough day.
It’s today and he would’ve been 42. And believe me, it really got me on Saturday that it’s been 5 years since he’s left us.
I’ve never posted on this thread. When the news hit, I actually started the day with a text message from a friend telling me that Josh was found dead. His death was just as surreal as my own father’s which was back on October 1, 2010.
The first time I ever went to a show at the club was September 2, 1998. I was 13, and my sister at the time was 10. My mom drove us all the way from Cumberland to DC. It was always a family affair - my mom, Dad, and younger sister. Sometimes we met up with friends or had friends go with us.
At the time of Josh’s death, I had known him for 15 years. He saw me grew up. This past Sunday would’ve made it 20...twenty years of 9:30 club patronage isn’t too shabby right?
Anyhow, over the years, my family became known to door staff as by our last name “Oh it’s the Lahmans! How was the trip down from Frostburg?” Haha. Everyone was pretty amused how we’d travel so far to see bands when we could.
My mom who is a social worker was always very protective of my sister and I. But the club especially because of Josh, she knew damn well we were okay and safe. It was nice to have a little freedom while seeing bands I loved when I was 13/14/15 years old. Couldn’t do that at many places.
Anyhow, eventually, I was able to attend a few shows with friends as I got older. And it gave my mom peace of mind knowing that if anything were to happen, Josh was my go to guy. The same went with my sister.
Anyhow, I didn’t become super close to Josh until I got older, but believe me, my 15 year old self is thankful he saved me during hardcore shows.
During the time I got busy with being a music journalist, I would see him all the time at places outside the club. Warped Tours and HFStivals. He would be chilling backstage. We’d talk music. He’d ask me where my family is and was delighted and surprised that they were around watching bands. He’d usually end up hanging out with my sister.
When I transferred to University of Maryland, he was fucking proud that I got in. And always made me feel at home at the club especially when I went to shows by myself. He could tell I was homesick and it felt a little weird being at a show without my family. Granted, being in College Park allowed me to attend way more in a given year. He’d always ask how my parents were doing and would be like “tell your folks I said hello!”
I have a few fun memories such as Josh and my mom discussing tattoos, or the time in 2007 (family outing in which I got picked up in College Park) we all ran into him at Ramshead in Baltimore because we were seeing the Cult. He and my dad discussed their favorite Cult albums and I know my dad told him all about his guitars and gear he had from his days of playing in bands. (My Dad was a musician) I specifically remember Josh’s friend making the joke about Ramshead being the “Applebee’s of music venues” and we all just laughed.
At the 2012 Virgin FreeFest, my sister hungout with him during a few sets. I later heard from her and then him that when our father died, we should’ve gotten a hold of him. I said “how? It’s not like we got his number.” And that’s when I found out if my mom, sister or I needed anything to give the club a call and leave a message for him to call us back. I was seriously in tears. Never thought to do that when my dad passed. I didn’t think it mattered much ya know? Especially since the last time we all had been to the club as a family was like 2006.
I wish badly back then I told him about how I was struggling to get my life started. Sure I graduated from UMD in 2009, but was still unemployed at the time. (These days it’s more like underemployed, but I’m trying my best) I wish I gave him my number and said “call me when you need anything”
My mom is a mental health professional. Clinical social worker.
The last time I saw Josh, it was at New Order at Merriweather. I was busy trying to keep up with my friends and he looked busy with doing work. I waved, and he smiled and waved back. What I really wanted to do was walk over and give him a hug. His hugs are famous for a reason, but I wanted to give him a hug because I considered him such a dear friend and it had been so long since I had seen him.
At the world’s fair event in 2016, I got a 9:30 club tattoo on my wrist. I spent a few days debating about doing this. I wanted something to commemorate my favorite place in the world. I wanted something to pay tribute to my youth and all the amazing times I had there with my friends and family. I was 90% sure but wasn’t fully committed until I got out of my car and a member of staff that I’m friends with (Scamus) told me the artist doing the tattoos was Josh’s artist. That sold me. So yeah, I have this 9:30 on my right wrist in tribute to him, the club, all the shows, my friends and family who went with me all those times, and to my friends who either work or used to work at the club.
