Kinda starting to fuck up here. My issue is that I am biologically incapable of not replying to a message sent to me on these dating sites/apps. My plate is completely full. I had to basically stop seeing this gorgeous, very cool woman who was into me because I just couldn't ever find time to see her (point against her: she lived outside the Beltway). Even now, I'd kind of settled into a groove with a few, where they all seemed relatively cool with getting together once a week as long as I shot them a few texts each night. But
I know this seems like a lot of humble-brag complaining, and I suppose it is, but this thread is detailing my journey into becoming single again at age 45, and this is the dynamic I'm struggling with.
There's C, who is the head bartender at a very popular, very boisterous bar in Alexandria. She is a really remarkable woman who is EXCELLENT at what she does. Plus she goes out of her way to be loving and affectionate to me while she's running the bar. Everyone who comes in the door -- and there must be a hundred+ each night -- seems to know and love her. It's amazing to watch her work. I'm not sure there's a long fruitful future for us, but I really do like her a lot.
There's T, who is gorgeous but also pretty crazy, and not in the fun sexy way. She's got like 4 lawsuits pending against various places, she gets fired from one job after another, she can't drive because of a DWI last year, and when she drinks, she gets really shout-y. Still, every time we go out, I end up driving home at 3:30 am shaking my head at the insanity of the night we just had. It's strangely intoxicating.
The Japanese anime fungirl is still knocking around as well. I've been intending to move out of this one, but she's so free and easy that it's like, why would I do that? We haven't gotten together in about a week and a half, and it's going to be at least a week before we're able to again, but she seems completely fine with it. She continues to send me the oddest fucking messages. One was an entire screen filled with alternating chicken and cat emojis. I texted back to say, wtf? And she replied "COCKS AND PUSSIES GO TOGETHER" so that motivated me to try and schedule something with her soon.
And then the evil side of me is still seeing a woman that I absolutely should not be seeing, but I do because she'll come over at the drop of a text and be on her way home 30 minutes later. Going to hell for this one.
Then *just today* an incredibly cute and interesting woman who lives in my neighborhood messaged me and I simply have no choice but to work her into the mix.
What I need to do is figure out what I want, because what I don't want is to be an asshole. I've been honest with everyone when they ask if I'm seeing other people; the thing is, the only one that's asked is Anime Girl and when I said that I was dating around, she smiled, raised her shoulders cutely and said "That ok with me!" God bless her.