Shame show > Roxy Music (I'm assuming).
Wrong.
I snagged some Roxy tickets from Stubhub Thursday. $35 for 2, including fees.. Section 403, Row B. Later in the same day, I saw tickets in the same row, 2 for $20. We wuz robbed!
Friday, my wife was inexplicably singing "Give a Little Bit" by Supertramp....which she later explained she was doing because they used it in the movie Daddy's Home, which was also the name of St Vicent's latest album.
So we went to dinner (the actual pricey item of the night, though not high end four course pricey) and parked for free 15 minutes from the venue. Free street parking. Sort of ghetto thoguht still northwest; but I'm from Virginia, we had our handgun in my wife's handbag. We walked to the venue, arriving right before St Vincent's set time and that's where the fun began. It was then that we found out that the Verizon Center no longer permits women's handbags.
We were pointed to a row of lockers on the side of the venue. Our choice was to get a locker or walk back to the car (and miss St. Vincent. And be in the ghetto without our handgun.) My wife protested that she wanted to go home, but I told her that was not an option. So we paid for the locker rental, about the same price that I had paid for a ticket. It was fun watching all of the other elderlies fumbing with their phones, tryng to figure out the locker system. We made our way back to the gates, my wife now carrying a small wallet thingy. "See, now that's the type of bag you need" mansplained an elderly man to his elderly partner in her four inch fuck me pumps, pointing to my wife's wallet thingy.
I have bought Ticketmaster tickets on Stubhub and had no problems before. I'm not sure how the technology works, but it's always worked. When we got to the front of the line, the worker could only get one of my tickets to scan. And that took some effort. When the second ticket wouldn't scan (long line of angry elderlies behind us), he sugggested I turn the brightness up on my phone. In doing so, I somehow lost where the ticket were. When I went to reopen the tickets, I kept getting an "Oops, something went wrong" error. After struggling with it for a long while, he pointed me to the box office, saying they could help straighten it out. At this point my wife again asked if we could just go home, and I again informed her we could not because this was Roxy Fucking Music, and headed to the box office window.
There I encounted many other hapless elderlies also having ticket problems. Why right in front of me was Nick Lowe, in the flesh, having ticket problems. Wait, that's not Nick Lowe, it's my neighbor who looks like Nick Lowe. But wait, that's my Nick Lowe lookalike neighbor, but he has a different wife. Wait, maybe that's not my neightbor either. Turns out it was Kosmo. So I explain my ticket troubles to the box office woman, who begins speaking in Ticketmaster language, which doesn't make sense to my feeble monolingual brain. At some point my wife has enough, and goes and stands in the corner. After a few more minutes of solo phone fumbling, I am finally able to get it to display the tickets again. If only it were asa easy to pull up concert tickets on my phone as it is to pull up MILF porn. So we head back to the turnstyle.
And the same thing happens. Only one ticket will scan. Angry elderlies roll their phacoemulsification affected eyes, and here we go again.The orginal guy we dealt with was no longer anywhere to be found, this time we're working with a woman. I explain very sweetly that we've already been to the box office and through the line once and maybe the one ticket isn't scanning because it has already been scanned once. Thank goodness she took pity on us an let us in. She even felt so sorry for us that she told me that for all my trouble, they were upgrading us from Section 403 to Section 109. SCORE!
We stopped and peed (good god did i have to pee by that point, should not have gone for the smaller preshow beer, not the 20 ounce German beer) and got our new tickets, and found our seats. Unfortunately we had missed several St Vincent songs, and she's was 50% of the reason I wanted to endure all of this pain...
St. Vincent was great. Ny wife commented that he dancers/backup singers probably caused some elderlies to get boners that they hadn't seen in years. I can't say she was wrong.
Roxy Music then played. Right before they went on, the PA played "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners. My first time seeing them. Roxy, not the Spinners. Haven't seen them either. Yes, Ferry's voice was shot, let's get that out of the way. But everything else was awesome. The guitarist and sax guy just killed it. The visuals were great. Ferry still had all of his hair. Right before they went on, an elderly went running through our aisle, barrelling over people. Too much preshow Michelob Ultra, I reckon.
By the middle of the set, elderly Michelob guy was up dancing with his friends and talking up a loud racket with them. The music mostly drowned them out for us, but at that point an elderly guy directly in front of them had had enough. He turned around, during a quiet number, and started screaming at Senior Michelob to "Shut up, shut up, shut up." I'm sure Hatch heard it up in the 400's and Julian heard it down in the you get a free blowjob with these ticket prices section. And on and on, just completely lost it. Senior Michelob first started to argue back "It's a concert, dude!" (Really, that's your argument? Talking loudly is appropriate behavior for a concert? Go back to your hockey game, Mic.) Senior Lost It continued screaming at Senior Michelob until he became much more of a nuisance than the original distraction. Then people starting yellow at Senior Lost It "Shut up, Grampa, Shut up Grampa." Until finally Senior Lost It left the section. Poor guy.
I don't remember if that happened before or after my wife fell asleep, around the sixth song or so, drifting in an out of sleep the reast of the night. Roxy finished with "Jealous Guy," which of course prompted my wife to say how much she fucking hates John Lennon, and why didn't they do "Slave to Love?"
And then we filed out with the other elderlies to retrieve our handbags and headed home.
The next morning I went grocery shopping. The first two songs they played upon my walking into Giant were "Rubberband Man" and "Give a Little Bit." But that's another thread.
