Author Topic: Parenting issues  (Read 63856 times)

Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #90 on: October 09, 2020, 03:24:56 pm »
Just curious-for those with kids doing virtual learning-what's your policy regarding phone use during class time?

sweetcell

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #91 on: October 09, 2020, 03:31:54 pm »
my guys haven't reached phone age, so can't help you... but i have to imagine the rules should be the same as when they're in class, as in NONE?
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Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #92 on: October 09, 2020, 03:35:21 pm »
my guys haven't reached phone age, so can't help you... but i have to imagine the rules should be the same as when they're in class, as in NONE?

I would too, but my opinion doesn't matter.

Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #93 on: October 13, 2020, 03:07:54 pm »
What's your going rate for report card rewards?

And how much would you pay your kid (who refuses to do any house chores, even for money) to do a daily 25 min workout?

hutch

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #94 on: October 13, 2020, 03:13:34 pm »
I feel like you asked this before


ZERO is my going rate

sweetcell

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #95 on: October 13, 2020, 03:40:43 pm »
in a general, 30,000-foot view, i agree with hutch.  kids shouldn't need to be motivated this way.  or at least it should be a reward, not a fixed and expected salary.

however, everybody's situation is different.  i realize that i have several "spoiled child" dynamics going with my kids which, objectively, are ridiculous and shouldn't be something i have to go through regularly (they are also things that i NEVER got away with as a kid, so it drives me insane that they think it's normal).  but i deal with it, roll with the established cadence of punches, and tell myself it could be worse. 

my guys aren't of report-card-reward-seeking age yet so i have no idea what the going rate is.  i'll admit that wanting to be paid for exercise triggered me a little, but then i stepped back and thought of the alternatives: no exercise = health problems = higher costs later.  so if you want to be coldly calculating about it, look at the incremental costs of growing up out of shape/obese, determine what fraction of that cost you would otherwise bear, take a discount off that number and then average it out over the period.  i know this appears to the economic number-cruncher in you :)
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Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #96 on: October 13, 2020, 03:41:09 pm »
I feel like you asked this before


ZERO is my going rate

Yeah, I probably did.

My wife is offering $1000 if my kid gets straight A's this year. I'm not sure if that's straight A's every quarter for the entire year, or straight A's among just the final grades.

I think i had straight A's for every class, every quarter except for Shop, Home Ec, and Gym in grades 7 through 11, before slacking a bit as a senior. Surely, I would have been a rich kid if my wife was my parent, assuming gym class didn't count.

And she's paying her $5 for each 25 min workout, so $25/week. I never got paid a dime for six years of football practice, four years of little league, or two years of track practice. :(

hutch

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #97 on: October 13, 2020, 03:48:02 pm »
It’s outrageous


Teaching your kid it’s all about the benjamins


Maybe the number one problem in America is the change that began to happen under Reagan and has accelerated where it’s all about making money and nothing else


At least tell your kid you will buy them something they want!

What’s next? Gift cards for Christmas? Or has that already happened

hutch

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #98 on: October 13, 2020, 04:05:20 pm »
I mean the grade implications (slightly better grades?) are so much less important than the values you will be instilling!


Do you really think grades or where you go to college matter that much?!?

Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #99 on: October 13, 2020, 04:11:13 pm »
This appears to be the going rate.

https://www.countryfinancial.com/en/connect/financial-wellness/whats-an-a-worth.html

I had a system whereby she raked in about $20-$25 per quarter last year. Apparently, I was seriously underpaying.

When I was earning report card money, I was also shoveling cow manure and milking cows after school each day too.  ;)

Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #100 on: October 13, 2020, 04:13:24 pm »
I mean the grade implications (slightly better grades?) are so much less important than the values you will be instilling!


Do you really think grades or where you go to college matter that much?!?

Does It Matter Where You Go to College?
Research suggests that elite colleges don’t really help rich white guys. But they can have a big effect if you’re not rich, not white, or not a guy.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2018/12/does-it-matter-where-you-go-college/577816/

Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #101 on: October 26, 2020, 01:02:09 pm »
A question for parents of teens, past and present.

What happens when your teen doesn't want the meal that is being planned/cooked? My theory has always been, as it was growing up, "You eat what the family is having, or you go without (or maybe you eat some fresh fruit as your meal)." That's the way it was growing up for me. The added bonus for my kid (over me as a kid) is that my wife (cooks three nights a week) and I (cook four nights a week) are much better cooks than my mom (seven nights a week) and dad (never) were.

When our daughter was younger, there were some dishes that were a stretch for her taste buds (e.g. a spicy Indian dish) that we didn't expect her to eat, so we substituted other things. Now that she's older, she can handle dishes like that.

Still, at least half the time, kid refuses to eat what is being planned and demands something else. Wife thinks this is fine ("she shouldn't have to eat something she doesn't want.")

Hence, two dinner meals are often cooked. One for the adults and one for the kid. Actually, this happens three times a day...I typically eat cereal for breakfast and a dinner leftover for lunch, while kid refuses to eat cereal or leftovers of any kind and expects a cooked  breakfast (or at least a blended smoothie) and a cooked lunch. (And if course i get bitched at by my wife, because my kid refuses to eat anything i offer, so the breakfast and lunch duties fall to her, and that's somehow my fault.)

Is this normal and acceptable at this age?

Julian, Forum COGNOSCENTI

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #102 on: October 26, 2020, 01:21:33 pm »
I had the made preparing a second meal to my liking at 11, so this seems pretty reasonable to me.
LVMH

Space Freely

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #103 on: October 26, 2020, 01:36:14 pm »
I had the made preparing a second meal to my liking at 11, so this seems pretty reasonable to me.

Was the maid also your spelling teacher?

Julian, Forum COGNOSCENTI

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Re: Parenting issues
« Reply #104 on: October 26, 2020, 02:12:37 pm »
I had the made preparing a second meal to my liking at 11, so this seems pretty reasonable to me.

Was the maid also your spelling teacher?
No, that was the tooter Thomass.
LVMH