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=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 02, 2021, 04:48:25 pm

Title: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 02, 2021, 04:48:25 pm: As it says, just post great headlines...stories don't matter.

Plague-infected chipmunks force closures around Lake Tahoe
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 05, 2021, 10:46:47 am: Boscombe 'sea creature': fisherman's kayak almost capsized
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 05, 2021, 01:24:21 pm: Aphex Twin’s Sister Is Wales’ New Climate Change Minister
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on August 05, 2021, 01:30:35 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on August 05, 2021, 01:24:21 pm
Aphex Twin’s Sister Is Wales’ New Climate Change Minister

Nice one!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 05, 2021, 03:06:18 pm: Quote from: Starsky on August 05, 2021, 01:30:35 pm
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on August 05, 2021, 01:24:21 pm
Aphex Twin’s Sister Is Wales’ New Climate Change Minister

Nice one!
I know ....I read the article ...but this made me chuckle

The politician mentioned that her brother, a notoriously reclusive artist.... She is “very much” a fan of her brother’s work, she reveals, but “not all of it”.
“Some of it’s, I think Charlie Brooker once said, it was like being inside a CT scanner for an hour,”
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on August 10, 2021, 05:29:29 pm: Sperm-on-a-Postcard Breakthrough Opens Door to Massive 'Sperm Books'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on August 17, 2021, 01:58:13 pm: Don't read this article simply because of this awful headline:

Pandora’s sparkling comeback powered by stimmy checks and lab-grown gems (https://fortune.com/2021/08/17/pandora-q2-comeback-stimmy-checks-lab-grown-gems-diamonds/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 24, 2021, 12:09:25 pm: UK lorry driver shortage could be plugged by prisoners on day release
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on August 24, 2021, 01:55:17 pm: i can't imagine what could possibly go wrong with that plan.

this brexit thing is really working out for them!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on August 28, 2021, 08:38:39 pm: Wisconsin woman spots cow in car while waiting in drive-thru line
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on August 29, 2021, 04:15:11 pm: The City of Eureka Has Removed the Mysterious Dildo Atop the Old Town Gazebo
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 29, 2021, 04:56:30 pm: Musician Richman won’t perform Saturday in Olympia after organizers scammed
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 11, 2021, 04:25:32 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E_AcdzMXsAgRH7m?format=jpg&name=900x900)

https://twitter.com/colinphoenix/status/1436679583152156677?s=21
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on September 15, 2021, 01:10:30 pm: Aaron Rodgers: 1st INT vs. Saints 'Was Entirely Due to the Double Nut Shot I Took' (https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10012413)

"In the case of Rodgers, getting hit below the belt while throwing an interception was a microcosm of Week 1. When something like that happens, the football gods clearly aren't on your side."
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 16, 2021, 08:38:18 am: Yes, it's the onion, but really a great headline

Joe Manchin Reverses Stance On Abolishing Filibuster After Son Diagnosed With Filibuster Disease (https://www.theonion.com/joe-manchin-reverses-stance-on-abolishing-filibuster-af-1846326684)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on September 16, 2021, 12:50:36 pm: Update Your PC Now to Protect Windows 10 From Internet Explorer (https://www.howtogeek.com/755162/update-your-pc-now-to-protect-windows-10-from-internet-explorer/)

as a former web developer, i've been telling people to protect themselves from IE for 20 years ;D
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 17, 2021, 07:06:18 pm: Philip Morris Is Buying An Asthma Inhaler Company.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 21, 2021, 04:32:01 pm: FBI arrests Michigan bomb suspect who was angry with cell phone companies over porn and cussing
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on September 21, 2021, 04:33:22 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on September 21, 2021, 04:32:01 pm
FBI arrests Michigan bomb suspect who was angry with cell phone companies over porn and cussing
Porn? Unacceptable. Cussing? Unacceptable. Murdering people with bombs? Fine.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on September 21, 2021, 04:47:42 pm: Are getting close to a "Because, Michigan" thread?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 21, 2021, 04:52:14 pm: Quote from: vansmack on September 21, 2021, 04:47:42 pm
Are getting close to a "Because, Michigan" thread?
thought has crossed my mind many times...would keep the dreck out of the JA thread for sure
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 22, 2021, 07:38:41 am: Besides being a great headline this is a good roundup of the mess in Texas

A tax cheat, a disbarred attorney, and an attempted firebomber: meet the folks trying to collect on Texas’ abortion bounty law.

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/political-commentary/texas-abortion-law-first-lawsuits-1230248/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 22, 2021, 07:45:28 am: Btw this is the juicy bit from that Michigan bomber story

In late August, Allen is accused of placing threatening letters inside polka-dotted envelopes that were addressed to AT&T, Verizon, and “all other carriers” at various locations in northern Michigan, according to an FBI affidavit filed in federal court obtained by The Detroit News. The letters, which were sent from the “Coalition for Moral Telecommunications (CMT),” threatened to “begin destroying inner city tower communication” unless the providers created software to stop the spread of “immoral content.”

Guess he raided his wife’s stash of stationery

https://www.metrotimes.com/news-hits/archives/2021/09/21/fbi-arrests-michigan-bomb-suspect-who-was-angry-with-cell-phone-companies-over-porn-and-cussing
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 22, 2021, 08:12:57 am: Koz…. I think you are missing the point of this thread
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 22, 2021, 08:14:34 am: do we really need a commentary thread for this?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on September 22, 2021, 08:38:57 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on September 22, 2021, 08:14:34 am
do we really need a commentary thread for this?
Some people come here purely for a dry recitation of Great Headlines, Kosmo, and in their busy lives, they can't be delayed for a few seconds having to wade through our "thoughts" about the Great Headlines.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 22, 2021, 09:15:43 am: fine...

i just thought the use of Polka-dotted envelopes was highly amusing and worth sharing with the class
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 22, 2021, 10:20:27 am: I get it and can see pointing out some key points in the story...but then maybe it goes to the Random thread, or the sky is falling thread

I feel like the key here is, it doesn't really matter the content of the article, it's just headline is the Dog’s Bollocks...those should go here
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on September 22, 2021, 11:53:46 am: Tim Cook says employees who leak memos do not belong at Apple, according to leaked memo

https://www.theverge.com/2021/9/22/22687747/tim-cook-employee-leak-memos-do-not-belong-at-apple
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 04, 2021, 02:46:59 pm: Young Drinkers Are Pissed Their Fake IDs Don’t Match Their Real Vaccine Cards

At least it's not the other way around
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 04, 2021, 06:24:06 pm: if you can make it to the end of this article, you are a stronger person than i:

‘Sun-powered orgasms are fantastic’: why I went to live in a desert cave (https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2021/oct/02/sun-powered-orgasms-desert-cave-stephanie-theobald)
Armed with only a solar charger, a vibrator and some marijuana gummy bears, I rode out the pandemic – and my fear of spiders – in a California commune
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on October 04, 2021, 06:30:11 pm: I don’t want to
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 04, 2021, 06:42:29 pm: Quote from: Starsky on October 04, 2021, 06:30:11 pm
I don’t want to

i think that makes you a wiser person than i
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on October 04, 2021, 07:10:48 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on October 04, 2021, 06:24:06 pm
if you can make it to the end of this article, you are a stronger person than i:

I made it to the photo.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 08, 2021, 09:46:24 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FBMD0sdWUAQOhtU.jpg)

From Scottish Twitter

https://twitter.com/brianbtd1967/status/1446504111898251267?s=21

Dinna ken if this is good or bad news for Dundee?

Update

Of course it was to good to be true… crafty lot those photoshopping Scots

Some Killjoy had seen it when it read Major Jobs Blow
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on November 05, 2021, 04:29:17 am: I THROW DOWN THE GAUNTLET:

Monkey belonging to Texas special team's coach stripper girlfriend bites child on Halloween (https://www.foxnews.com/sports/monkey-belonging-to-texas-special-teams-coach-stripper-girlfriend-bites-child-on-halloween)
She explained how the monkey is up-to-date on her shots and is an 'emotional support animal who (is) not to be touched'

NOW ACCEPTING ALL CHALLENGERS
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 05, 2021, 07:34:01 am: not up to monkey owned by stripper bites child, but an interesting intersection of software development and local government

Swale council seeks to quash planning decisions issued in error by junior staff member with one application rejected as 'whack'

lots of ads on this link

https://www.kentonline.co.uk/sittingbourne/news/charity-told-proposal-is-whack-in-planning-blunder-253536/

Officials have been left red faced after a junior staff member was unwittingly let loose on approving and rejecting planning notices, with one applicant, a charity boss, told their scheme was turned down because: “Your proposal is whack”.

The blunder came about when the Mid Kent Planning Support team, which handles the online submissions on behalf of Swale council, was trying to resolve software issues.

In doing so, five ‘dummy’ decisions, used to test the website was working, were accidentally published.

Among them was the sarcastic refusal to a desperate bid by Happy Pants animal sanctuary to stay on its site in Bobbing, near Sittingbourne.

The charity received the response “your proposal is whack” and “no mate, proper whack”. Making good the mistaken planning decisions is now set to cost £8,000.

Terry Rowse butchers’ change of use to a takeaway in Chaucer Road, Sittingbourne, was also turned down, with the official comments reading simply “no”, and “just don’t”, while the partial demolition of The Wheatsheaf pub in East Street, Sittingbourne, was granted, with the response “incy, wincy, spider”.

Meanwhile, an application for the change of use for a barn to provide storage for seeds and crop protection products, precision farm services and office space in Bredgar Road, Tunstall, was granted, as was the fifth application, for the demolition of the Old House At Home pub in Sheerness High Street, to make way for flats. The latter's comment was “why am I doing this, am I the chosen one?”
Swale council is now seeking to quash the planning decisions issued in error.

It said that, on August 19, officers for the Mid Kent Planning Support team were trying to find a solution for issues with the software behind the public access site but, during the exercise, ‘dummy’ decision notices on five randomly selected Swale applications were published on the live system.

After being alerted to the mistake, the decision notices were swiftly removed from the site, but legal advice has subsequently confirmed they are legally binding and must be overturned before the correct decisions are made.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 10, 2021, 07:09:22 am: Terminally ill man arrested for 'mooning' at speed camera
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 15, 2021, 12:41:47 pm: Convicted Murderer Wins Election to Office in DC From Behind Bars
(epoch times, but the story is actually true...but a Ward 7 ANC position is hardly a position of power)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 24, 2021, 01:27:14 pm: Michael Jackson Impersonator Charged With Storming Capitol Alongside Oath Keepers

Some quality replies to the Rolling Stone tweet

https://twitter.com/rollingstone/status/1463520706973552657?s=21
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 24, 2021, 03:46:59 pm: WALMART REMOVES LISTING FOR KIDS’ TOY THAT SINGS ABOUT COCAINE

This is truly so random

Ania Tanner, a grandmother from Ontario, Canada, was shocked when an innocent-looking dancing cactus toy she bought for her granddaughter at Walmart started swearing and singing about doing cocaine in Polish, CTV News reports.

“This toy uses swear words and talking about cocaine use,” Tanner told the broadcaster. “This is not what I ordered for my granddaughter.”

Unsurprisingly, Walmart yanked the toy from its online store — although people had been complaining about the toy for at least five months, according to CTV.

But its rapping skills in Polish weren’t age-appropriate. In addition to rapping about cocaine, the jovial succulent also covered other pleasantries such as suicide and depression.

“It just so happens that I am Polish and when I started to listen to the songs and I heard the words,” Tanner told CTV News. “I was in shock. I thought what is this some kind of joke?”

“It’s about taking five grams of cocaine and being alone… It’s a very depressing song,” she added.

As it turns out, the Chinese manufacturer apparently had no idea it was using a song by Polish rapper Cypis — who, according to CTV News, had no idea his song was being used for a children’s toy at all.

https://futurism.com/the-byte/walmart-removes-toy-cocaine
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on November 24, 2021, 05:08:53 pm: End Times Preacher: A Reptile Alien Imitating My Husband Tried to Sleep with Me (https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/23/end-times-preacher-a-reptile-alien-imitating-my-husband-tried-to-sleep-with-me/)

she could have just said "not tonight honey i have a headache" and avoided all this attention...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on December 02, 2021, 11:14:22 pm: MCPD Warns of Scam Violin Players at Local Shopping Centers

https://mocoshow.com/blog/mcpd-warns-of-scam-violin-players-at-local-shopping-centers/ (https://mocoshow.com/blog/mcpd-warns-of-scam-violin-players-at-local-shopping-centers/)

Apparently the buskers aren't really playing the violin, so buyer beware.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on December 03, 2021, 02:54:23 am: Quote from: excontredaction on December 02, 2021, 11:14:22 pm

MCPD Warns of Scam Violin Players at Local Shopping Centers

https://mocoshow.com/blog/mcpd-warns-of-scam-violin-players-at-local-shopping-centers/ (https://mocoshow.com/blog/mcpd-warns-of-scam-violin-players-at-local-shopping-centers/)

Apparently the buskers aren't really playing the violin, so buyer beware.

we had something similar in our little town, except it was an accordion player. he would set up with amplification in the local grocery store's parking lot and wail away for hours in front of signs stating "hungry please help" and "out of work due to pandemic". anyone with a minimal amount of musical knowledge could tell that the music coming out of the speakers wasn't coming from his instrument - he was ok, but not great, at miming along to the prerecorded music. only lasted for a month before he disappeared... wonder where he ended up.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 07, 2021, 02:43:40 pm: Amazon not loading? Can't hook up on Tinder? The internet has failed you again. Here's what to do[/i] (https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2021/12/07/aws-amazon-outage-what-do/6419140001/[i)

Well done USAtoday. tbh didn't realize you weren't already dead
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on December 07, 2021, 06:50:48 pm: Quote from: Brown-hatch ® ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 07, 2021, 02:43:40 pm
Amazon not loading? Can't hook up on Tinder? The internet has failed you again. Here's what to do[/i] (https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2021/12/07/aws-amazon-outage-what-do/6419140001/[i)

Corrected link: https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2021/12/07/aws-amazon-outage-what-do/6419140001/

dude...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 07, 2021, 08:17:02 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on December 07, 2021, 06:50:48 pm
Quote from: Brown-hatch ® ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 07, 2021, 02:43:40 pm
Amazon not loading? Can't hook up on Tinder? The internet has failed you again. Here's what to do[/i] (https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2021/12/07/aws-amazon-outage-what-do/6419140001/[i)

Corrected link: https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2021/12/07/aws-amazon-outage-what-do/6419140001/

dude...
yes, I screwed up the link...but honestly this is the headline thread and you shouldn't even need the link or discuss the article, just thought it would be good for contex, as I imagine 2/3s of this board doesn't know what AWS is or does
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 17, 2021, 10:07:23 pm: Anti-5G necklaces found to be radioactive
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 23, 2021, 09:49:57 am: this could go in many threads, but this headline made me chuckle...

Dismay and glee as Coldplay say they will stop recording in 2025
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 23, 2021, 10:15:46 am: Damn… came here to post in the Coldplay hate thread
Can’t believe they are going to make us wait until 2025, just stop now
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 05, 2022, 07:44:59 am: Scientists Defy God, Teach Goldfish to Drive on Land
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on January 05, 2022, 03:22:31 pm: Quote from: 46 mutations-hatch ® ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 05, 2022, 07:44:59 am
Scientists Defy God, Teach Goldfish to Drive on Land

we're already defying god with our vaccines, what harm is there in a little finned driving?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 05, 2022, 09:39:58 pm: Thieves Steal Gallery Owner’s Multimillion-Dollar NFT Collection: ‘All My Apes Gone’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 06, 2022, 12:40:59 pm: This may win the thread, via Jon Wuster:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CYXG4i1PCyD
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 10, 2022, 07:08:32 am: An album made entirely of endangered bird sounds beat Taylor Swift on a top 50 chart
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 13, 2022, 02:06:43 pm: Pig heart transplant recipient stabbed a man seven times years ago.

Heartless bastard?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 20, 2022, 05:38:05 pm: Cross posting to Meanwhile in Canada

Police searching for man who stole an $8,000 Gibson Custom Shop '59 Les Paul by cramming it down his pants

https://www.guitarworld.com/news/gibson-les-paul-theft
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on January 21, 2022, 12:02:44 am: That's how I got my cello

Quote from: kosmo vinyl on January 20, 2022, 05:38:05 pm
Cross posting to Meanwhile in Canada

Police searching for man who stole an $8,000 Gibson Custom Shop '59 Les Paul by cramming it down his pants

https://www.guitarworld.com/news/gibson-les-paul-theft
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on January 21, 2022, 12:04:15 am: I also stuff my "grand piano" down my pants everyday
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 22, 2022, 04:49:17 pm: Truck with 100 monkeys crashes in PA, people told not to approach missing animal

...so many questions...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 25, 2022, 06:54:59 pm: I have many questions

Dorset knob-throwing festival axed over size issues

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-dorset-60122825
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 27, 2022, 08:30:44 pm: Johnny Marr responds to Morrissey’s plea to stop mentioning him: “An ‘open letter’ hasn’t really been a thing since 1953“
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 28, 2022, 01:46:19 pm: Oscar Mayer wants you to put ‘bologna’ on your face.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on January 28, 2022, 04:08:15 pm: EXCLUSIVE: 'Peter Dinklage just put seven of us out of a job!' Dwarf actors' fury at Disney for canceling seven dwarves from Snow White remake because the woke multimillionaire Game of Thrones star said they were offensive

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10449549/Dwarf-actors-slam-Peter-Dinklage-canceling-seven-dwarves.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 29, 2022, 10:28:49 am: Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson: ‘Dressing up was fun – but my codpiece was distinctly unfragrant’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on February 01, 2022, 03:30:19 pm: Smoking in cars with children in Northern Ireland now illegal (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-60209734)

Well, there goes my idea for a Julian Netflix series!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 01, 2022, 03:55:08 pm: Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on February 01, 2022, 03:30:19 pm
Smoking in cars with children in Northern Ireland now illegal (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-60209734)

Well, there goes my idea for a Julian Netflix series!

26,195. Quite the marathon.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 08, 2022, 10:07:40 am: Gluten free potato brownies very satisfying
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on February 08, 2022, 02:17:17 pm: ^ whoever wrote that was high AS FUCK
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on February 08, 2022, 04:44:08 pm: (https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/7XJIDKHBA5CC3ETYV7MALLXF2A.jpg&w=916)

Nun who stole $835,000 from school to fund her gambling habit is going to prison: ‘I have sinned’ (https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2022/02/08/california-nun-gambling-school-prison-kreuper/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on February 08, 2022, 06:03:36 pm: she's going to jail...good. Now what about all those priests "fiddlin about"? (shoutout to The Who touring this spring).
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 10, 2022, 07:34:51 am: A giant donut-shaped machine just proved a near-limitless clean power source is possible

Is Homer somehow involved?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 10, 2022, 05:32:16 pm: Hudson mayor suggests ice fishing could lead to prostitution in ice shanties
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 10, 2022, 05:37:31 pm: To be fair this is probably standard practice in Canada
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on February 13, 2022, 03:39:59 pm: How did you guys not post this one yet?

80-year-old’s unsent Wordle score saves her from naked kidnapper, Illinois woman says

Read more at: https://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/news/nation-world/national/article258258720.html#storylink=cpy
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 13, 2022, 05:44:52 pm: It’s in the unofficial Wordle thread
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 14, 2022, 11:29:16 am: A Porno-Metal Song About Gay Cowboys Is Disrupting the Anti-Vax Trucker Convoy
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 14, 2022, 11:15:37 pm: Kurt Cobain’s Daughter Is Dating Tony Hawk’s Son
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 15, 2022, 07:21:40 am: The mayor of Hudson, Ohio, has resigned after he suggested that permitting ice fishing could lead to prostitution.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 15, 2022, 02:25:46 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLqBDKRX0AMOEww?format=jpg&name=900x900)

(of course, he was from Michigan)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on February 15, 2022, 03:16:48 pm: Massachusetts game show winner gets trip to New Hampshire (https://apnews.com/article/39e6be91f937b9bd1cde8ac9f0a889ff)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 15, 2022, 03:17:03 pm: what do you expect when most of the state is shaped like a mitten... as usual Michigan We Get It Done
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 15, 2022, 06:02:39 pm: Arizona Priest Steps Down After Discovering Thousands of His Baptisms Don't Count Because He Said One Word Wrong
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on February 15, 2022, 06:34:51 pm: Quote from: Off-season Santa on February 15, 2022, 06:02:39 pm
Arizona Priest Steps Down After Discovering Thousands of His Baptisms Don't Count Because He Said One Word Wrong
As I said over on the social medias, this is the sort of thing that had it happened a thousand years ago, Europe would be plunged into decades of bloodshed as a result.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 22, 2022, 02:47:04 pm: Utah student displaces 22 in dorm after attempt to create rocket fuel on stove
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on February 23, 2022, 06:31:01 pm: This. Has. Everything.

Top 15 fugitive wanted for DC gender-reveal party shooting arrested in Florida (https://wtop.com/dc/2022/02/top-15-fugitive-wanted-for-dc-gender-reveal-party-shooting-arrested-in-florida/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Yada on February 24, 2022, 07:46:56 am: Do we need a Russia/Ukraine/WWIII thread?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 24, 2022, 08:03:02 am: Quote from: Yada on February 24, 2022, 07:46:56 am
Do we need a Russia/Ukraine/WWIII thread?
where was that a headline?
but yes, we do
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on February 24, 2022, 08:59:33 am: Now invading the rest of Ukraine is pretty shitty

They should have kept their nukes
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on February 24, 2022, 01:55:43 pm: since we don't have a "dystopian nightmare headlines" thread, i guess i'll drop this here:

Putin calls for the "demilitarization" of Ukraine after announcing military action in Donbas (https://www.cnn.com/europe/live-news/ukraine-russia-news-02-23-22/h_0a25f82dbcd2c593c00a857873bf2723)

sooooo... how's that "demilitarization of Ukraine" going?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 24, 2022, 08:06:40 pm: Canceled comedian Louis CK to perform in Kyiv despite Russian invasion

Now, that's a great headline!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 03, 2022, 05:20:45 pm: Harvey Weinstein Caught With Contraband Milk Duds in L.A. Jail
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 06, 2022, 01:25:16 pm: Denver police investigate after box of human heads being transported for medical research is stolen
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 08, 2022, 06:13:34 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FNSgo6hXsAMrlFt?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 10, 2022, 08:06:45 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FNYLG14XsAop0u-.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on March 10, 2022, 03:10:43 pm: Almost.

Trump asks supporters to pay for new plane after emergency landing

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/us-elections-government/ny-trump-asks-supporters-to-buy-new-plane-20220310-bs6h3r7czve6lmfd5dyeco5e34-story.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 10, 2022, 03:21:09 pm: Hey I'm a billionaire, but please help me get a new engine to my 35-year-old plane...makes me think he's really not a billionaire
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on March 10, 2022, 03:57:29 pm: Quote from: Side-Shadenfreele ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 10, 2022, 03:21:09 pm
Hey I'm a billionaire, but please help me get a new engine to my 35-year-old plane...makes me think he's really not a billionaire

I read somewhere else that it wasn't even his plane, it was a supporter's.

"Hey my friend's plane broke, so buy me a new one so I don't have to borrow my friend's junky plane."
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 10, 2022, 04:11:30 pm: Quote from: Space Freely on March 10, 2022, 03:57:29 pm
Quote from: Side-Shadenfreele ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 10, 2022, 03:21:09 pm
Hey I'm a billionaire, but please help me get a new engine to my 35-year-old plane...makes me think he's really not a billionaire

I read somewhere else that it wasn't even his plane, it was a supporter's.

"Hey my friend's plane broke, so buy me a new one so I don't have to borrow my friend's junky plane."

it wasn't his plane, but apparently they thought they could use the incident so the rubes would pony up so they could bring back a new Tr**p Force One to the skies... apparently his 757 is sitting unused somewhere unable to be flown in disrepair... so just grifting away as per usual...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on March 10, 2022, 05:45:31 pm: yeah, his personal 757 was falling apart just as he was elected in 2016. since he suddenly had access to Air Force One, they mothballed his 757. now after all those years of disuse, it apparently needs millions of dollars in maintenance before it can fly again - i vaguely remember reading that both engines need to be replaced.

trump already has tens of millions of dollars in his superPACs, and he could use that money to fix up his plane (lots of flexibility there, and a plane is a legitimate "transportation" expense) but of course donnie isn't going to use "his" money - why pass up a perfectly good opportunity to get the suckaz to pay for it?

grifters gonna grift.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 15, 2022, 01:07:22 pm: ‘My Ferrari can’t go through’: Rod Stewart fills potholes outside his Essex estate (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/mar/13/my-ferrari-cant-go-through-rod-stewart-fills-potholes-outside-his-essex-estate)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 18, 2022, 05:59:25 am: Why Minnie Mouse's chill-out album actually makes sense

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-60785409
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 20, 2022, 08:53:01 am: Hairy Black Holes Key to Solving Paradoxes of Universe
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 22, 2022, 07:08:09 pm: Goldman Sachs' CEO will perform at Lollapalooza

Hopefully he pays his ghost producers well
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: GAY,GUY on March 28, 2022, 02:49:35 pm: "Buffalo Wild Wings Is Not Worth Prison Time"
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on March 28, 2022, 03:32:50 pm: ‘I want a beer’: Paralysed man communicates first words in months using brain implant (https://finance.yahoo.com/news/want-beer-paralysed-man-communicates-154452109.html)

men are so awesome... you're in a coma, and what's the first thing you wanna communicate - "what happened, how did i get here? "tell my wife i love her"? "are my kids ok?" "how bad is it, will i be ok?"

nope... it's "gimme a brewski." if he's in a coma, would he even be aware of his consumption of the beer? could he taste it?

auto-pilot!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 07, 2022, 02:59:40 pm: Fart Attack: Brazilian Singer Hospitalized After Holding in Gas Around Boyfriend

Also...no commentary or article snips needed...it's all about the Headlines, baby
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on April 07, 2022, 03:47:14 pm: Mushrooms communicate with each other using up to 50 ‘words’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 07, 2022, 04:14:59 pm: Quote from: Off-season Santa on April 07, 2022, 03:47:14 pm
Mushrooms communicate with each other using up to 50 ‘words’
I actually already read that :)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 08, 2022, 07:49:56 am: Ted Cruz Trolls Mr. T
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 16, 2022, 10:03:34 am: Bolsonaro faces hard scrutiny over military’s purchase of penile implants
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on April 18, 2022, 08:58:12 pm: https://www.the-sun.com/news/5145341/american-men-penis-size-beaten-by-australians-french/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 21, 2022, 08:30:24 am: PROBING URANUS IS OUR NEXT SPACE EXPLORATION PRIORITY
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 22, 2022, 08:51:44 am: Cross posting to the JA thread

Canals, charcuterie and beer: how record shops are staying afloat
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 03, 2022, 02:20:01 pm: The Quest for "Forbidden Nut Flavor"
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on May 04, 2022, 12:54:24 pm: Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon (https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-astronauts-2022-federal-budget)

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 04, 2022, 12:58:29 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on May 04, 2022, 12:54:24 pm
Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon (https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-astronauts-2022-federal-budget)
It also means, presumably, that Canadians can currently murder and rob all they want, provided that they do it while in orbit.

just can't come home
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 10, 2022, 05:52:18 pm: Man dies of heart attack while burying woman in backyard

(Reported by a Florida TV station, leading to an ill advised edit, took place in South Carolina)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 27, 2022, 01:41:43 pm: A Texas Christian Lady Went To A School Board Meeting And Proudly Proclaimed That She’s Never, Ever Had Anything Put In Her Butt (https://uproxx.com/viral/texas-school-board-meeting-woman-yelling-about-anal-sex/)

follow-up from a ~~librarian~~ author of the book that the woman wanted banned...hysterical
https://ashleyperez.com/2021/10/video-response-talking-back-to-angry-texas-mom-whose-tirade-got-out-of-darkness-banned/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 27, 2022, 07:50:22 pm: Gene-editing experiment turns fluffy hamsters into ‘aggressive’ mutant rage monsters
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 30, 2022, 09:56:38 am: Mona Lisa: Man dressed as old woman throws cake at da Vinci painting
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 31, 2022, 11:19:47 am: Tractor-trailer crash sends 15,000 pounds of hot dog filler onto Pennsylvania highway

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FUEyyF8XsAE9_xG?format=jpg&name=small)

cue QOP blaming Biden for the future hot dog shortage
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on May 31, 2022, 12:25:47 pm: ^ that area should be declared a biohazard disaster zone, and deemed uninhabitable for a few centuries.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 31, 2022, 12:30:50 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on May 31, 2022, 11:19:47 am
Tractor-trailer crash sends 15,000 pounds of hot dog filler onto Pennsylvania highway

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FUEyyF8XsAE9_xG?format=jpg&name=small)

cue QOP blaming Biden for the future hot dog shortage

Sarah Sherman (SNL) on Twitter @SarahSquirm: "my nudes just leaked:" (https://twitter.com/SarahSquirm/status/1531488340830212098)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 01, 2022, 01:16:24 pm: The United States is the only country with more civilian-owned firearms than citizens
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 02, 2022, 10:39:08 am: BREAKING NEWS: CNN cutting back on over-hyping everything as "breaking news"
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 03, 2022, 01:32:15 pm: Pierogi burglar strikes in Pennsylvania

The deets

The press release stated troopers are looking for a suspect who stole a five-pound bag of Mrs. T’s Pierogies from the victim’s residence and caused $10 worth of damage to the victim’s drywall.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 04, 2022, 08:59:30 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on June 03, 2022, 01:32:15 pm
Pierogi burglar strikes in Pennsylvania
@johnfetterman
Don’t look at me, my alibi is rock solid. I’ve been resting + recovering at home in Braddock. ☺️

@Bob_Casey on the other hand… 👀
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on June 04, 2022, 07:29:12 pm: Sucks he had a stroke…he needs more time before hitting campaign trail (the fact he has been resting three weeks indicates stroke wasn’t nothing)

Not sure it matters now but eventually he will need to be 100% or he will lose…I have this race as solid republican
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on June 06, 2022, 07:25:43 pm: Naked Florida Couple Crashes into FedEx Truck While Doing Things We Can't Explicitly Describe in a Headline (https://jalopnik.com/naked-florida-couple-crashes-into-fedex-truck-while-doi-1849023272)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on June 06, 2022, 10:17:58 pm: Quote from: Starsky on June 04, 2022, 07:29:12 pm
Sucks he had a stroke…he needs more time before hitting campaign trail (the fact he has been resting three weeks indicates stroke wasn’t nothing)

Not sure it matters now but eventually he will need to be 100% or he will lose…I have this race as solid republican

Geez
https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/06/politics/john-fetterman-campaign-trail-break-july/index.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on June 09, 2022, 12:19:11 pm: She got an STD during car sex. Now, Geico could pay her $5.2 million (https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/06/09/geico-std-car-sex-missouri-insurance/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 09, 2022, 12:48:38 pm: that is a great headline!
I will say I like the stock photo the NYpost ran with better ;)
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/06/car-couple-steam-1.jpg?quality=75&strip=all)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 09, 2022, 10:26:32 pm: Two stuck in waist-high chocolate at MnM factory
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on June 10, 2022, 06:58:37 pm: A greatly understated headline:

To some surprise, Youngkin hosts series of Pride events (https://wtop.com/virginia/2022/06/to-some-surprise-youngkin-hosts-series-of-pride-events/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 12, 2022, 09:36:57 am: 18-wheeler hauling orange juice catches fire on beltway
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 13, 2022, 11:34:08 am: Fugitive captured after he drops from ceiling into Stafford Co. church
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 13, 2022, 05:45:25 pm: Post Malone Literally Shits Out His Music: “I Write All My Songs on the Can”
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on June 13, 2022, 06:12:26 pm: makes perfect sense

Quote from: GBV-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 13, 2022, 05:45:25 pm
Post Malone Literally Shits Out His Music: “I Write All My Songs on the Can”
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on June 16, 2022, 06:12:27 pm: https://www.newsweek.com/elephant-kills-woman-returns-funeral-tramples-corpse-india-1715075?amp=1
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 16, 2022, 08:49:43 pm: holymoley that wins the GH for the week

Elephant Kills Woman Then Returns to Funeral and Tramples Corpse
(https://www.newsweek.com/elephant-kills-woman-returns-funeral-tramples-corpse-india-1715075?amp=1)
newsweek no less!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 20, 2022, 12:09:14 pm: Ok, not the greatest headline, but wins for not being a headline I would ever expect

Steve Albini Wins Second World Series of Poker Event
(won $200k)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 20, 2022, 01:07:49 pm: I don't even understand what's happening here:

Bennett and Lapid agree to dissolve Israel's government

https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/20/middleeast/israel-government-dissolve-vote-intl/index.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on June 20, 2022, 02:50:25 pm: Quote from: Off-season Santa on June 20, 2022, 01:07:49 pm
I don't even understand what's happening here:

Parliamentary system where coalitions rule. When your coalition starts to disagree, you have two choices - dissolve it yourself or have it dissolved for you. In this instance, they have agreed to dissolve it themselves and have yet another election. 5th time in 4 years....

I believe I made a snarky comment In the belly up thread about Netanyahu and it not really mattering - they can only hope that they held the coalition long enough that the coalitions don't run back to Bibi.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 20, 2022, 04:08:22 pm: this made me chuckle...although it'd be better if it said Chris martin

Noel Gallagher banned from China for life as he is 'enemy of the people'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 22, 2022, 05:23:27 pm: Justin Timberlake Apologizes For ‘Dancing,’ Wearing Khakis At Pharrell’s Festival
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 29, 2022, 11:51:26 am: KISS mistakenly displayed an Australian flag during their performance in Austria

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FWbSqZIX0AEvV4s?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 29, 2022, 12:01:20 pm: You know when Kiss plays germany they use this logo
(https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-3c8071241ad00af1aa14f41e03c53b06.webp)
as the logo looks like the german ss
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 30, 2022, 11:12:35 am: VIP Section at The Eagles Concert Breaks into Brawl During “Take It Easy”
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on June 30, 2022, 02:15:05 pm: Quote from: I am the Cuttlefish ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 30, 2022, 11:12:35 am
VIP Section at The Eagles Concert Breaks into Brawl During “Take It Easy”

Holy shit those cockneys paid a LOT to not take it easy AT ALL
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on July 03, 2022, 08:16:27 am: Poison canceled over bad reaction to medication. Brett Michaels hospitalized.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 03, 2022, 08:22:32 am: UNESCO declares borsch cooking an endangered
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Mark_Read on July 06, 2022, 08:06:45 am: Giant African land snails force Florida town into quarantine
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 06, 2022, 09:29:41 am: Quote from: Mark_Read on July 06, 2022, 08:06:45 am
Giant African land snails force Florida town into quarantine
no joke!
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FW5E1X6XgAI5W64?format=jpg&name=small)

although it's Florida, wonder if you can sub them in your Conch Chowder
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 13, 2022, 09:33:56 am: This story has been going around and this is a great concise version of it…

Fake cricket league dupes some online bettors

https://www.npr.org/2022/07/12/1111131964/fake-cricket-league-dupes-some-online-bettors
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 13, 2022, 10:44:25 am: The best and brightest

Charges: Man lit his camper on fire, defaced own garage to appear targeted due to Trump flag

https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/denis-molla-brooklyn-center-arson-charges/

Just a minor case of wire fraud
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: GAY,GUY on July 14, 2022, 11:15:21 am: This one is ok; I just like it because I worked at a lot of pizza places.

"Rescuers free man stuck in pizza oven vent."
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Mark_Read on July 15, 2022, 07:32:25 am: And from England:

'Naughty' retired vicar, 74, caught carrying out a sex act with a HENRY HOOVER in church while wearing stockings claims he did it because his 'diabetes was not medicated'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 15, 2022, 04:06:16 pm: Quote from: Mark_Read on July 15, 2022, 07:32:25 am
And from England:

'Naughty' retired vicar, 74, caught carrying out a sex act with a HENRY HOOVER in church while wearing stockings claims he did it because his 'diabetes was not medicated'

in case anyone was wondering meet Henry Hoover

(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/718qjWapq2L._AC_SX466_.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 15, 2022, 04:37:21 pm: he does seem to be staring right at my package
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on July 15, 2022, 06:13:15 pm: Does Henry have a sister? Asking for a friend.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 25, 2022, 07:35:23 am: Chess robot grabs and breaks finger of seven-year-old opponent
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on July 25, 2022, 09:04:29 am: Quote from: Summer-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 25, 2022, 07:35:23 am
Chess robot grabs and breaks finger of seven-year-old opponent

(T)he machine had played many previous exhibitions without upset. “This is of course bad.” (https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2022/jul/24/chess-robot-grabs-and-breaks-finger-of-seven-year-old-opponent-moscow)

Also, it was the kid's fault ::)
Moscow incident occurred because child ‘violated’ safety rules by taking turn too quickly, says official
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 25, 2022, 11:55:32 am: Elon Musk’s Dad Says Colombians Want His Sperm for Elon Army
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 27, 2022, 06:11:05 am: Man crashes into shop, runs off and is attacked by emu

Swerving into the shop wasn't the worst thing to happen to him

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-crashes-shop-runs-attacked-7380249

The driver leapt a fence and found himself face to face with an emu
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 29, 2022, 10:10:33 am: Spain: Prosecutors to seek 8-year prison term for Shakira

Associated Press
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Starsky on July 29, 2022, 10:40:50 am: Quote from: Peson-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 29, 2022, 10:10:33 am
Spain: Prosecutors to seek 8-year prison term for Shakira

Associated Press

Ridiculous. The woman is a saint. Put her cheating husband in jail!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 29, 2022, 10:50:58 am: Quote from: Starsky on July 29, 2022, 10:40:50 am
Quote from: Peson-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 29, 2022, 10:10:33 am
Spain: Prosecutors to seek 8-year prison term for Shakira

Associated Press

Ridiculous. The woman is a saint. Put her cheating husband in jail!

Those Hips Don't Lie
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 02, 2022, 08:06:22 am: Passenger fined $1,874 after two undeclared McMuffins found in luggage
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2022, 06:53:23 am: Former White House physician Rep. Ronny Jackson pledges to never eat 'a whole plate of dog penis' again
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on August 11, 2022, 08:45:27 am: but he is still good with half a plate.

Quote from: 440-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2022, 06:53:23 am
Former White House physician Rep. Ronny Jackson pledges to never eat 'a whole plate of dog penis' again
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2022, 08:53:59 am: Quote from: Cock Van Der Palm on August 11, 2022, 08:45:27 am
but he is still good with half a plate.

Quote from: 440-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2022, 06:53:23 am
Former White House physician Rep. Ronny Jackson pledges to never eat 'a whole plate of dog penis' again
Really not sure, also what if it was served in a cup or a bowl?
are cat penises off the table or is that still an option to eat

But I like that he's making campaign promises, we'll see how well he does resisting the temptation of BBQ Dog Penis at the next MAGA rally
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on August 11, 2022, 03:12:35 pm: Quote from: 440-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2022, 06:53:23 am
Former White House physician Rep. Ronny Jackson pledges to never eat 'a whole plate of dog penis' again

any relation to:

Trump Says White House Doctor Ronny Jackson 'Loved Looking at My Body' (https://www.newsweek.com/trump-says-white-house-doctor-ronny-jackson-loved-looking-my-body-1731562)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 18, 2022, 07:20:26 pm: Meet this year's child Mullet Championship finalists

(NPR?!)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 23, 2022, 07:01:29 am: Richmond restaurant mogul hit with $3.2 million donut defamation suit

Donut defamation suit is my new band name
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on August 23, 2022, 08:12:18 am: Any story about a $3.2 million donut belongs in the JA thread.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 23, 2022, 01:30:15 pm: For space…

Traffic brought to standstill after JK Rowling publicly trims her bush
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on August 30, 2022, 09:55:58 pm: Lorde Swam the Potomac in a possible bid to become the worlds top Mutant Pop Star (https://www.avclub.com/lorde-potomac-river-washington-dc-1849473736)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 02, 2022, 10:46:20 am: The Trump Taj Mahal casino sold for 4 cents on the dollar

See this is a great one sentence description of how horrible he was at running businesses.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on September 02, 2022, 04:00:42 pm: Kids Yell “Poop” At Alexa, And These Musicians Profit (https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/katienotopoulos/alexa-play-the-poop-song)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on September 02, 2022, 04:21:04 pm: "Poopy Stupid Butt" was the working title for "Hey Jude". True story.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 07, 2022, 12:59:03 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FcD5axGX0AEsHam?format=jpg&name=small)

not an Onion article and yes this could be cross posted into several threads

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2334149-sac-with-a-mouth-and-no-anus-wasnt-our-earliest-ancestor-after-all/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on September 07, 2022, 06:11:15 pm: Alright, which of you scofflaws is doing shots on the roof?

https://www.fox5dc.com/news/naked-man-fires-shots-in-northwest-dc
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on September 07, 2022, 07:04:17 pm: Quote from: Off-season Santa on September 07, 2022, 06:11:15 pm
Alright, which of you scofflaws is doing shots on the roof?

https://www.fox5dc.com/news/naked-man-fires-shots-in-northwest-dc
Well they’re naked, so you’d think Relaxer. But then again they’re hyper violent so you’d think RatBastard. But then again they’re on drugs on a roof which really opens it back up to a lot of you degenerates.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 07, 2022, 07:44:56 pm: so that headline was indeed fantastic...but the way they ended that story

There is currently no active threat, according to police, and no active shooter. The man has since put on his clothes.
(https://media4.giphy.com/media/B1SGR1LN5kxHqfwzrr/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47qnyi0uu09exm3xf7hcg3g4nave6vow1pul4ns55n&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 08, 2022, 03:02:06 pm: Speeding woman on cocaine kills drunk driver high on meth in North Las Vegas, police say
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on September 11, 2022, 02:52:24 pm: this one checks a lot of boxes:

Elon Musk agrees: chess champion cheated, used anal beads for comms (https://www.tweaktown.com/news/88364/elon-musk-agrees-chess-champion-cheated-used-anal-beads-for-comms/index.html)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on September 19, 2022, 09:19:31 pm: Beyond Meat COO arrested for biting man’s nose near Razorback Stadium
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on September 27, 2022, 03:24:34 pm: "Greg Abbott is a Little Piss Baby" (https://www.techdirt.com/2022/09/26/subreddit-discriminates-against-anyone-who-doesnt-call-texas-governor-greg-abbott-a-little-piss-baby-to-highlight-absurdity-of-content-moderation-law/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on October 04, 2022, 12:24:26 pm: Area Man Is Arrested for Parody. The Onion Files a Supreme Court Brief. (https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/04/us/the-onion-supreme-court.html)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 04, 2022, 01:44:05 pm: Quote from: vansmack on October 04, 2022, 12:24:26 pm
Area Man Is Arrested for Parody. The Onion Files a Supreme Court Brief. (https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/04/us/the-onion-supreme-court.html)

cross-copy to "when reality reflects the onion" thread??
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on October 04, 2022, 02:55:26 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on October 04, 2022, 01:44:05 pm
Quote from: vansmack on October 04, 2022, 12:24:26 pm
Area Man Is Arrested for Parody. The Onion Files a Supreme Court Brief. (https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/04/us/the-onion-supreme-court.html)

cross-copy to "when reality reflects the onion" thread??

I scrolled until which of the two threads came up first (it was this one). Now if we had a thread titled when the onion reflects reality it would have been a no brainer.

Here is the full brief. (https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/22/22-293/242292/20221003125252896_35295545_1-22.10.03%20-%20Novak-Parma%20-%20Onion%20Amicus%20Brief.pdf). I was in tears by the Table of Contents.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 06, 2022, 12:30:42 pm: Wild Pig Drinks 18 Beers, Gets in Fight with Cow (https://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/3981/20130914/australian-wild-pig-drinks-18-beers-gets-fight-cow.htm)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on October 13, 2022, 11:08:06 am: (https://i.ibb.co/Jm6s2rp/Screen-Shot-2022-10-13-at-11-05-20-AM.png) (https://twitter.com/CHIMPSINSOCKS/status/1580480648695119872)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 13, 2022, 01:05:43 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on October 13, 2022, 11:08:06 am
(https://i.ibb.co/Jm6s2rp/Screen-Shot-2022-10-13-at-11-05-20-AM.png) (https://twitter.com/CHIMPSINSOCKS/status/1580480648695119872)
Too much information and also not nearly enough all at the same time. Inquiring minds desire to know more!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 15, 2022, 10:54:41 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FfJ2MUIXEAIKK7G?format=jpg&name=large)
25! that's quite a party. Who did the counting?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 16, 2022, 06:44:10 am: The Walky thread is over there..
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 17, 2022, 10:00:12 am: Ok...this is just kind of amazing and weird at the same time

Patient plays saxophone while undergoing brain surgery in Italy
(https://cdnph.upi.com/svc/sv/i/5751665778762/2022/1/16657788871828/Patient-plays-saxophone-while-undergoing-brain-surgery-in-Italy.jpg)

Thoughts on what he was playng?
I'm going with "I can't get you out of my head"

oddly found a 1 hour loop of this song https://youtu.be/EmcAf__3ZT8
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 18, 2022, 05:43:29 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FfSdNEHXwAIC5HC.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 18, 2022, 09:02:12 am: Ok...lots of snark in this post

K-Pop stars BTS will be forced to serve in South Korea’s military after all—and reconvene as a group ‘around 2025’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:28:52 pm: Shane MacGowan would “wave his willy” at passing trains from Bono’s house
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 19, 2022, 12:32:05 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 18, 2022, 05:43:29 am
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FfSdNEHXwAIC5HC.jpg)
This is fake and there’s many versions out there with different stock photos of women attached. This is put out by ex-JWs to spark discussion about JWs online.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:40:10 pm: Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on October 19, 2022, 12:32:05 pm
This is fake and there’s many versions out there with different stock photos of women attached. This is put out by ex-JWs to spark discussion about JWs online.
and you know this, why?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 19, 2022, 12:44:12 pm: Quote from: snickett-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:40:10 pm
Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on October 19, 2022, 12:32:05 pm
This is fake and there’s many versions out there with different stock photos of women attached. This is put out by ex-JWs to spark discussion about JWs online.
and you know this, why?
As I commented before, I have family members who are part of, and some who have left, that cult. I’m weirdly plugged into many things Jehovahs Witnesses.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:48:27 pm: Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on October 19, 2022, 12:44:12 pm
Quote from: snickett-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:40:10 pm
Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on October 19, 2022, 12:32:05 pm
This is fake and there’s many versions out there with different stock photos of women attached. This is put out by ex-JWs to spark discussion about JWs online.
and you know this, why?
As I commented before, I have family members who are part of, and some who have left, that cult. I’m weirdly plugged into many things Jehovahs Witnesses.
my condolences, well at least you don't have to buy birthday presents
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 19, 2022, 01:34:46 pm: Quote from: snickett-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:48:27 pm
Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on October 19, 2022, 12:44:12 pm
Quote from: snickett-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 19, 2022, 12:40:10 pm
Quote from: Julian, Adroit TASTEMAKER on October 19, 2022, 12:32:05 pm
This is fake and there’s many versions out there with different stock photos of women attached. This is put out by ex-JWs to spark discussion about JWs online.
and you know this, why?
As I commented before, I have family members who are part of, and some who have left, that cult. I’m weirdly plugged into many things Jehovahs Witnesses.
my condolences, well at least you don't have to buy birthday presents
Christmas is cheap too, bro.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 27, 2022, 06:36:45 pm: Body found in truck bed turns minor Macomb County fender-bender into major police investigation
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2022, 04:22:11 pm: Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico reveal they secretly got married
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on November 02, 2022, 04:25:52 pm: Quote from: SoldMyPoll4RnR ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2022, 04:22:11 pm
Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico reveal they secretly got married
Are they hyphenating their nations or is one of them taking the other's country?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2022, 04:30:09 pm: Puertina?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on November 02, 2022, 05:11:43 pm: Quote from: SoldMyPoll4RnR ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2022, 04:30:09 pm
Puertina?

Argenrico, obvs.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2022, 07:10:30 pm: Puertina-Argenrico, obvs.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 04, 2022, 08:37:34 am: Taylor Swift’s Tour Is Ruining Weddings Across the Country
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 06, 2022, 09:51:24 am: Taylor Swift Added 8 Stops To Her Tour, But Still Skipped D.C.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 06, 2022, 10:07:58 am: Air Force claims ‘no intent by the pilots’ to draw sky penis near Russian base in Syria
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 09, 2022, 07:31:59 pm: Baltimore, DC, Richmond among America’s most sinful cities

Finally one of these lists awards we win and can have a little pride about

Dang, don’t read the article… as we are not even in the top 10
Richmond is 35!
WTF
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on December 13, 2022, 01:19:05 pm: STUDENTS REBEL AGAINST HEAT-SENSING CROTCH MONITOR SURVEILLANCE DEVICES (https://hackaday.com/2022/12/12/students-rebel-against-heat-sensing-crotch-monitor-surveillance-devices/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on December 14, 2022, 02:41:03 pm: Passengers Kicked Off Flight for Saying 'Penis' Think Penalty Too Stiff (https://jalopnik.com/passengers-kicked-off-flight-for-saying-penis-think-pen-1849888941)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 14, 2022, 05:56:12 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fj93yJJXoAUF7rJ?format=png&name=900x900)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on December 14, 2022, 10:13:36 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on December 14, 2022, 05:56:12 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fj93yJJXoAUF7rJ?format=png&name=900x900)

Future Boardie of the Year goes to....this kid!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 16, 2022, 03:05:12 pm: Free Band Name Alert

A Murderer Known as ‘the Human Hyena’ Escaped Prison During a Conjugal Visit

Convicted killer José Carmona went on the lam briefly during a state-permitted visit to his wife's house in Cordoba, Argentina this week. He was captured soon after getting into two car crashes.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/7k8ang/a-murderer-known-as-the-human-hyena-escaped-prison-during-a-conjugal-visit
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 16, 2022, 03:21:07 pm: does that mean he won't get to play in the finals?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 16, 2022, 03:59:37 pm: Quote from: Sidefusion ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 16, 2022, 03:21:07 pm
does that mean he won't get to play in the finals?

rumor has it a number of policeman have signed on to escort him to the final as a way to see the game
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 16, 2022, 04:42:36 pm: George Clooney Once Took a Shit In Richard Kind’s Cat Litter Box
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 21, 2022, 11:26:56 am: Doctor, I've got a bomb in my bum: Man, 88, sparks hospital evacuation in France after arriving with 8ins WWI artillery shell stuck in his rectum
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on December 21, 2022, 11:40:59 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on December 21, 2022, 11:26:56 am
Doctor, I've got a bomb in my bum: Man, 88, sparks hospital evacuation in France after arriving with 8ins WWI artillery shell stuck in his rectum
They're taking this World Cup loss hard.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 23, 2022, 08:55:52 am: Plane of Vomiting Passengers Lands After Horror Flight
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 26, 2022, 08:06:10 pm: South Korea formally ends ban on imported sex dolls

Whew, it was really a dark time in SK when we could only use sex dolls created on the peninsula
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on January 20, 2023, 09:05:35 pm: Rapper Young Thug and co-defendant conducted in-court drug transaction, prosecutors say (https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/20/entertainment/rapper-young-thug-courtroom-drugs/index.html)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 21, 2023, 10:56:04 am: Irish rooster with a violent past kills man with attack to the back of his leg, court says
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 23, 2023, 10:19:56 am: Heinz wants to find the man who survived nearly a month at sea with nothing but ketchup and seasonings to help him buy a new boat

Although, if I was lost at sea for a month, probably wouldn’t be too excited to get back out on the high seas
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 23, 2023, 10:50:34 am: Quote from: Sidehaaatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 23, 2023, 10:19:56 am
Heinz wants to find the man who survived nearly a month at sea with nothing but ketchup and seasonings to help him buy a new boat

Although, if I was lost at sea for a month, probably wouldn’t be too excited to get back out on the high seas

Extra ketchup is always handy though.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 02, 2023, 01:45:49 pm: Justin Bieber cancels rest of World

(Yes I clipped it, but looked better this way)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 03, 2023, 05:34:19 pm: Best sub headline seen in a while

Man had sex on neighbour's bollard in angry parking row

He also masturbated near it

https://www.dorset.live/news/dorset-news/man-sex-neighbours-bollard-angry-8213328

https://twitter.com/angrypiln/status/1631760235927879681?s=46&t=tEI6L_3IZhAczTAh5AtXcg
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 17, 2023, 09:36:25 am: Man crashes pastor’s book burning event — throws a bible into the fire and yells: ‘Hail Satan!’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 17, 2023, 09:47:18 am: cue Foo Fighters - "My Hero"
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 04, 2023, 12:16:10 pm: From 2015, but worth it

Amphibious pitcher makes debut.

https://twitter.com/NeillWoelk/status/608018850760650752
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 05, 2023, 03:37:14 pm: Naked man driving stolen school bus with dead deer inside leads police on chase

Aka Pennsylvania Man
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 05, 2023, 04:08:21 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on April 05, 2023, 03:37:14 pm
Naked man driving stolen school bus with dead deer inside leads police on chase

Aka Pennsylvania Man
could be Michigan man too
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 08, 2023, 05:15:19 pm: This insect flings pee from a 'butt catapult.' Now engineers are studying practical uses (https://www.cnn.com/videos/tech/2023/04/07/curiosity-daily-glassy-winged-sharpshooter-contd-orig-ht.cnn)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 14, 2023, 09:50:26 am: Woman stuck in child's swing cut free by firefighters

“at 2.35 in the morning” ;D

we've all been there...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on April 20, 2023, 02:23:01 pm: "What 169 feral hippos can teach us about the war on drugs" (https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/04/20/colombia-president-biden-cocaine-hippos/) (homepage link)

vs.

"Why Colombia’s president should talk to Biden about cocaine hippos" (article title)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 03, 2023, 09:30:27 pm: Pixies Apologize for “Where Is My Mind?” Preemptively Turning Off Google Alarms
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on May 08, 2023, 10:16:15 pm: *chef's kiss*

Vince Neil to Judge Other People’s Music (https://www.metalsucks.net/2023/05/08/vince-neil-to-judge-other-peoples-music/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 09, 2023, 07:55:33 pm: Widow who wrote grief book after husband died charged with his murder
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 09, 2023, 09:40:50 pm: Quote from: Fulfilled-Hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 09, 2023, 07:55:33 pm
Widow who wrote grief book after husband died charged with his murder
Gotta respect the hustle.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 12, 2023, 06:20:42 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fv6i-BmWwAEeOWD?format=jpg&name=large)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 12, 2023, 01:20:28 pm: What is the pig-to-platter conversion rate...I want to know
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 12, 2023, 01:57:14 pm: If that image is legit as it appears to be from a single blog post in 2016, but it popped a couple times on Twitter today.

My thought is platter to pig ratio would have been higher than verses today…
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 14, 2023, 12:06:52 am: Man arrested after stealing 5-ton military vehicle and leading police on highway chase in Maryland

"Michael D. Stevens II, 38, stole a privately owned 1986 923-A 5-ton military vehicle from a residence in Bel Air, Maryland."

I have so many questions...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 14, 2023, 05:26:39 pm: The agony and ecstasy of scoring last-minute face value Taylor Swift tickets
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 19, 2023, 02:09:22 pm: Local GOP politician resigned after police found him passed out in his car holding what appeared to be a crack pipe
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 19, 2023, 02:23:01 pm: Those wacky Scots at it again

Stolen car found on top of metal drum at roundabout in Annan

(https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1658857063114584064/LY-hC7Gu?format=jpg&name=small)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 21, 2023, 09:07:16 am: TED NUGENT SAYS HE'S BEING SUED BY THE STATE OF MICHIGAN
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 23, 2023, 02:13:45 pm: Lamb found wandering field with motorcycle helmet fitted 'perfectly' over head.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 03, 2023, 06:31:33 pm: really thought this was the onion...but not the case

DNA Test Proves Ex-Wrestler Not Lauren Boebert’s Father
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 03, 2023, 07:04:51 pm: My kinda church

Pastor Caught Dealing Weed and Mushrooms Out of Church
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 06, 2023, 05:39:36 am: CT couple alleges state is illegally filming their property by attaching camera to wandering bear
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 12, 2023, 03:11:17 pm: A man has been arrested after being caught sunbathing naked outside a Taco Bell restaurant in Lowestoft.

A Lowestoft police spokesman said: "So yes, this happened. He's been slathered with aftersun and will be attending the court this morning."
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on June 12, 2023, 03:21:38 pm: Despite it being one of my favorite films of last year, I did not, until this moment, know that “aftersun” is a thing.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 16, 2023, 12:06:41 am: Colombia’s ‘Cocaine Hippo’ Population Is Even Bigger Than Scientists Thought
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 18, 2023, 09:16:00 am: A white supremacist took MDMA for a study, and it snapped him out of his beliefs: 'Why am I doing this?'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 20, 2023, 10:35:11 pm: New search for actor Julian Sands on California mountain is unsuccessful
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 22, 2023, 06:03:38 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FzL_N04XgAEUEAS.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on June 22, 2023, 08:18:20 am: The writer of that headline has peaked. Nothing will ever top that.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 22, 2023, 02:03:19 pm: With headlines like that, who needs articles anymore
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on June 22, 2023, 02:36:11 pm: Quote from: SideH@tchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 22, 2023, 02:03:19 pm
With headlines like that, who needs articles anymore
Gilgamesh: the Headline
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 27, 2023, 12:31:05 pm: Janitor heard ‘annoying alarms’ and turned off freezer, ruining 20 years of school research worth $1 million, lawsuit says
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Mark_Read on June 27, 2023, 01:38:39 pm: England 'wanted to pick Wood' but settle for Tongue in all-seam attack

https://www.espn.com/cricket/story/_/id/37921700/ashes-2023-josh-tongue-named-lord-test-moeen-ali-misses-out
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 27, 2023, 06:46:33 pm: tongue is not settling!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 28, 2023, 07:38:15 pm: there have been some great Julian Dead headlines. But I truly regret clicking on one of them as google now thinks I care about Julian
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on June 28, 2023, 07:52:57 pm: Quote from: SideH@tchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 28, 2023, 07:38:15 pm
there have been some great Julian Dead headlines. But I truly regret clicking on one of them as google now thinks I care about Julian
Oh, yeah, that article is what did it.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 30, 2023, 03:19:26 pm: The Author of 'Goodnight Moon' Died From Doing a High Kick and Other Awful Facts We Just Learned
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 01, 2023, 07:43:12 pm: Ok...this is actually a sad headline from an Austrian paper that stopped its daily edition after 320 years

116,840 days, 320 years, 12 Austrian presidents, 10 Kaisers, two republics and one newspaper (https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/jul/01/worlds-oldest-newspaper-prints-final-edition-after-320-years)

(https://static.dw.com/image/66084086_1004.webp)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 02, 2023, 03:55:07 pm: not an Onion headline

Michael Imperioli forbids ‘bigots and homophobes’ from watching his work following Supreme Court ruling
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 05, 2023, 08:06:18 am: Julian Sands spoke of finding ‘spooky things’ in interview before he went missing
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 05, 2023, 09:02:18 am: Quote from: SideH@tchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 05, 2023, 08:06:18 am
Julian Sands spoke of finding ‘spooky things’ in interview before he went missing
It was also the night when the skeletons came to life.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 11, 2023, 08:37:36 am: Mike Lindell is auctioning off pillow-making equipment and hawking hundreds of random items in a sprawling yard sale of MyPillow's stuff
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on July 11, 2023, 09:28:33 am: Quote from: SideH@tchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 11, 2023, 08:37:36 am
Mike Lindell is auctioning off pillow-making equipment and hawking hundreds of random items in a sprawling yard sale of MyPillow's stuff

Sreyarp dna sthguoht.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 01, 2023, 09:38:10 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F2Wtur_XsAAlMUQ?format=webp&name=small)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 08, 2023, 03:19:32 pm: Italian man dies after being crushed by thousands of wheels of cheese
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on August 08, 2023, 03:24:57 pm: Quote from: aspirational way Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 08, 2023, 03:19:32 pm
Italian man dies after being crushed by thousands of wheels of cheese

Sorry, I'm imagining a guy being chased down a hill by cheese wheels. Alas, it was much more mundane.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 08, 2023, 03:28:00 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on August 08, 2023, 03:24:57 pm
Quote from: aspirational way Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 08, 2023, 03:19:32 pm
Italian man dies after being crushed by thousands of wheels of cheese

Sorry, I'm imagining a guy being chased down a hill by cheese wheels. Alas, it was much more mundane.
I like your version better and in my mind, that's the reality
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 12, 2023, 06:56:33 pm: Supermarket shut down due to spider that can cause long, painful erections
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 13, 2023, 02:34:36 pm: The walkie thread is over there
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 13, 2023, 02:44:46 pm: So much to unpack here, The Daily Mail have topped themselves here

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F3aF2eJXcAA34pM?format=jpg&name=large)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 16, 2023, 10:52:52 am: this is so bad it's good

Mr. Not-So-Brightside. The Killers booed in Georgia for bringing Russian fan onstage
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on August 16, 2023, 10:56:38 am: Quote from: Stollen-Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 16, 2023, 10:52:52 am
this is so bad it's good

Mr. Not-So-Brightside. The Killers booed in Georgia for bringing Russian fan onstage
There's a thread over on the U. of Michigan athletics messageboard I read where people are debating if this will/should spell the end of Mr. Brightside getting played at football games, which is possibly the most liberal-Ann Arbor debate imaginable.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on August 16, 2023, 02:59:28 pm: Quote from: Stollen-Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 16, 2023, 10:52:52 am
this is so bad it's good

Mr. Not-So-Brightside. The Killers booed in Georgia for bringing Russian fan onstage

i kinda feel sorry for brandon... kinda. in his naiveté, he tried creating a "we're all brothers" moment, which is commendable, but: learn to read the room, dude. russia invaded georgia in 2008, killed a lot of people in a 5-day war, and to this day still holds about 20% of pre-2008 georgian territory. georgians despise russians. bringing a rooskiy on stage was never going to work, no matter how much some clueless american would like them to "just all get along"...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on August 17, 2023, 02:34:34 pm: NASA Wants Your Help Studying Uranus From Behind Next Month (https://www.iflscience.com/nasa-wants-your-help-studying-uranus-from-behind-next-month-70299)
Neptune as well, for those not so given to innuendo.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on August 17, 2023, 02:36:52 pm: Gonna need a mirror, stat
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on August 17, 2023, 05:39:12 pm: I know what they mean, but still...

John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival joins WTOP ahead of Wolf Trap (https://wtop.com/entertainment/2023/08/john-fogerty-of-creedence-clearwater-revival-joins-wtop-ahead-of-wolf-trap/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 23, 2023, 06:44:08 am: Stop kissing and snuggling turtles, CDC warns
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 28, 2023, 09:43:29 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F4qZ4heXYAAM5ZY?format=jpg&name=large)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 29, 2023, 11:49:47 am: I see space is traveling again

Edinburgh Airport passenger 'only had seven minutes to down 5am pint' due to queues
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 30, 2023, 02:43:55 pm: Norfolk police pull over man with bull riding shotgun

Around 10:00 a.m. Norfolk Police Division responded to a call of a man driving eastbound on 275 with a Watusi bull in his passenger’s seat.

i know what everyone is thinking,,, but kosmo pictures or it didn't happen

well

(https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1696932283976949760/Q5mW_qIh?format=webp&name=small)

As a result, the officers performed a traffic stop and addressed some traffic violations that were occurring with that particular situation,” Reiman said.

The occupant of the vehicle was identified as Lee Meyer of Neligh. The Watusi bull’s name was Howdy Doody.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 30, 2023, 06:50:25 pm: I always wonder how you 'do the watusi' or what it even was... now I know
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 06, 2023, 06:21:01 am: Delta flight forced to turn around because of diarrhea incident

Ok I’m breaking form to add something from the article

“This is a biohazard issue,” said the pilot to air-traffic control. “We’ve had a passenger who’s had diarrhea all the way through the airplane, so they want us to come back to Atlanta
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 06, 2023, 02:40:54 pm: Not sure we have a Florida man thread..

A Florida man who tried to run across the Atlantic Ocean to London using a makeshift hamster wheel has been arrested.

Buried at the bottom of the story

This marked the end of Mr Baluchi's latest run-in with the coast guard, the papers allege, with previous incidents involving a similar homemade vessel in 2014, 2016 and 2021
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 06, 2023, 02:55:11 pm: guy has a wiki about him and his escapades
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reza_Baluchi
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 06, 2023, 03:08:28 pm: Quote from: hanky/lanky-Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 06, 2023, 02:55:11 pm
guy has a wiki about him and his escapades
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reza_Baluchi

most recent attempt going to need a little more detail seeing as there was a bomb threat involved in this one
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on September 06, 2023, 03:37:34 pm: https://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id/38339369/11000-runners-dqd-mexico-city-marathon-per-report
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 08, 2023, 11:06:56 am: Why We Keep Putting Up With Martin Short

(personally I love short, but this headline cracked me up)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 10, 2023, 12:50:52 pm: Eating the Rich Sounds Pretty Good to Most of Us Right Now

Bonus points for including schadenfreude in the article
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 19, 2023, 12:20:10 pm: Watch slime-covered penis mushroom that smells like rotting flesh grow and decay in mesmerizing time-lapse
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 01, 2023, 07:05:54 pm: Man crashes vehicle into police station while blasting Guns N' Roses, police say
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 02, 2023, 01:54:21 pm: i 'like' the use of 'single' quotes by cnn

Disney sued over ‘severe’ injuries allegedly caused by ‘wedgie’ from water slide (https://www.cnn.com/travel/typhoon-lagoon-disney-sued-over-injuries-wedgie-water-slide/index.html)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 03, 2023, 01:30:10 pm: I like the mid sentence gulp… just don’t see that in headlines

Could We Really Be Headed Toward—Gulp—Speaker Stefanik?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 06, 2023, 09:12:11 am: Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on October 06, 2023, 10:15:12 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 06, 2023, 09:12:11 am
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children

So, a vape store?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 06, 2023, 12:42:49 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on October 06, 2023, 10:15:12 am
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 06, 2023, 09:12:11 am
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children

So, a vape store?

With one very ambitious rat
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 06, 2023, 01:33:01 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 06, 2023, 12:42:49 pm
Quote from: Justin Tonation on October 06, 2023, 10:15:12 am
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 06, 2023, 09:12:11 am
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children

So, a vape store?

With one very ambitious rat
what the headline leaves out is the rat was giving the profits, off the sales to these stupid human teens, to feed all the unhoused rats in his community, so lets not crucify this community-focused rodent
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on October 06, 2023, 07:40:35 pm: The Black Eyed Peas have settled their case against a pooping unicorn toy
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 06, 2023, 11:16:09 pm: Quote from: nkotb on October 06, 2023, 07:40:35 pm
The Black Eyed Peas have settled their case against a pooping unicorn toy

NOT THE INFO WE DESERVED, BUT THE INFO WE NEEDED
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 10, 2023, 01:41:17 pm: Amish men carrying forbidden cell phones outed by national emergency alert test
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on October 10, 2023, 02:13:50 pm: If they were on Rumspringa (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumspringa), it doesn't count.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 13, 2023, 05:58:56 pm: Man 32, goes blind in one eye after using Viagra

I have questions
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 14, 2023, 01:09:40 pm: more like, scary headline

Scientists grow chickens with dinosaur legs as they aim to prove how evolution works
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 20, 2023, 11:58:38 am: Oh God No: Morrissey Actually Showed Up This Time (https://thehardtimes.net/blog/oh-god-no-morrissey-actually-showed-up-this-time/)

my date is suuuuper into Morrissey. All part of the plan: Morrissey no-shows, date gets bummed, I swoop in with a little bit of the ol’ “Don’t worry baby, let’s go listen to The Queen Is Dead at my place and throw gladioli all over our naked bodies” routine. Super solid plan, right? But then this pompadour with Tourette’s had to show up and shit all over it.

Didn't see any post show banter
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 20, 2023, 01:43:24 pm: Finally someone fessed up!

Czech village priest sorry for smashing pumpkins
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 29, 2023, 12:59:28 am: Kurt Cobain's daughter marries Tony Hawk's son, officiated by Michael Stipe: Report (https://www.brooklynvegan.com/kurt-cobains-daughter-marries-tony-hawks-son-officiated-by-michael-stipe-report/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2023, 08:54:53 am: Cops: You Don't Have To Stop If The Booty Patrol Truck Tries To Pull You Over (https://jalopnik.com/florida-cops-want-you-to-know-you-dont-have-to-stop-if-1850981077)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 02, 2023, 09:50:29 am: Man Jailed After Throwing A Beer At Bartender For Changing Black Sabbath To Christmas Music
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on November 08, 2023, 03:54:31 pm: Fox & Friends Struggles To Explain Abortion Rights Election Results: ‘A Majority of Americans Don’t Like the Rape and Incest Thing’ (https://www.mediaite.com/tv/fox-friends-struggles-to-explain-abortion-rights-election-results-a-majority-of-americans-dont-like-the-rape-and-incest-thing/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 08, 2023, 04:59:26 pm: Man Charged With Public Masturbation At Arlington Pickleball Courts

Ok which one of you did this!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on November 08, 2023, 05:11:30 pm: Are you trying to confess?!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Yada on November 08, 2023, 05:45:02 pm: Quote from: beseech-Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 08, 2023, 04:59:26 pm
Man Charged With Public Masturbation At Arlington Pickleball Courts

Ok which one of you did this!

walky thread >>>>>
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 09, 2023, 12:48:39 pm: Man's Life Saved By Emergency Breast Implants

although the moral of the story is Vaping is bad news
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on November 09, 2023, 02:32:35 pm: I'm not sure what thread to drop this in, but the comments to this article are golden.

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2023/11/08/wilco-rocker-jeff-tweedy-trashes-the-star-spangled-banner-admits-anthem-too-hard-for-him/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 10, 2023, 10:37:28 am: Bruce Dickinson lands role in apocalyptic ABBA tribute band horror movie
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on November 15, 2023, 09:30:15 am: Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson to star in ABBA-inspired horror movie ‘Bjorn Of The Dead’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on November 15, 2023, 02:42:18 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F-77nacX0AAbJz-?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on November 15, 2023, 04:24:58 pm: Tasmanian woman tells office she can't come in as 600kg 'Neil the seal' is blocking her car

(https://live-production.wcms.abc-cdn.net.au/6e03e1ff032242eca06c913795e48a0d?impolicy=wcms_crop_resize&cropH=1174&cropW=1761&xPos=0&yPos=169&width=862&height=575)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 21, 2023, 03:04:23 pm: Raunchy, alcohol-fueled L.A. Taco Bell party included open sex, lawsuit claims
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on November 27, 2023, 02:51:48 pm: ‘I have frozen my penis,’ says Swedish cross-country skier Calle Halfvarsson after racing in icy temperatures

https://www.cnn.com/2023/11/27/sport/calle-halfvarsson-frozen-penis-skiing-spt-intl/index.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 04, 2023, 05:53:27 pm: Man accused of stealing MARTA bus, dropping off customers at Waffle House
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 08, 2023, 04:25:42 pm: Woman Enters MRI Machine With A Gun, Gets Shot In Butt
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 12, 2023, 05:35:56 pm: From ‘puff, puff pass’ to ‘puff, puff police:’ Critics frown on Ohio House’s proposed changes to recreational marijuana
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 15, 2023, 07:32:21 am: Gang jailed for £1m cocaine-coated broom handle plot
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 15, 2023, 03:34:01 pm: as the Angry People in Local Newspapers social media accounts put it “I’m not quite dead”

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GBZmtY-WcAA936I?format=jpg&name=small)

‘I’m still alive’ declares Angus man after discovering his own grave in cemetery

this whole story is amazing

Mr Hattel said he had realised something was not right because his social life has been deathly quiet for the past three or four months.

He said: “People think that I’m dead.

“My phone hasn’t rung for three or four months. I’ve been confused by it all but now I know why nobody has been calling.

Plot Twist

“I don’t even want to be buried – I plan to be cremated.”

He has put the blame for the headstone at the door of his ex-wife, from whom he separated some 26 years ago.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/angus-mearns/1092665/human-interest-im-still-alive-declares-angus-man-after-discovering-his-own-grave-in-cemetery/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on December 15, 2023, 07:29:59 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on December 15, 2023, 03:34:01 pm
He has put the blame for the headstone at the door of his ex-wife, from whom he separated some 26 years ago.

women! can live with 'em, can't be alive without them...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on December 18, 2023, 06:05:04 pm: Crikey!

Massive flood in Australia strands hundreds, prompts crocodile warnings (https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2023/12/18/australia-flooding-queensland-cairns/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on December 18, 2023, 06:07:41 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on December 18, 2023, 06:05:04 pm
Crikey!

Massive flood in Australia strands hundreds, prompts crocodile warnings (https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2023/12/18/australia-flooding-queensland-cairns/)

Looks serious, but not serious enough that it can't have a jovial photographer's signature!

(https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/ZRKJQSQPARSXZGWHEITBJ7Y3CM.JPG&w=916)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on December 19, 2023, 10:52:03 am: NASA laser message beams video of a cat named Taters back to Earth, and it’s a big deal
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 30, 2023, 06:28:09 pm: Finally!

Illinois enacts law to legalizing fuzzy dice hanging from rearview mirrors
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 05, 2024, 10:45:44 pm: Alright whose job was it keep an eye on <redacted> this week

Nude man nabbed by police after ‘cannonball’ plunge into giant aquarium at Bass Pro Shop in Alabama

In the words of George Takei

OH MY

A man crashed his car outside a Bass Pro Shop in Alabama, stripped down to his birthday suit and plunged into the giant aquarium inside the store, police said.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 06, 2024, 04:02:02 am: That happened a while back
There is video if I recall
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 06, 2024, 08:57:24 am: https://apnews.com/article/bass-pro-shops-aquarium-nude-man-arrested-1e3cd9caf8a5eea6e1c4718498c914b3
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 06, 2024, 12:01:27 pm: Oh dang, this is a new incident, must be a tictok thing:)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 06, 2024, 10:32:17 pm: Ugh there is video of this on twitter
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 07, 2024, 12:02:48 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on January 06, 2024, 10:32:17 pm
Ugh there is video of this on twitter
apparently ken was who jumped in
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on January 11, 2024, 09:35:22 pm: The CPR dummy of the future can piss blood (https://www.engadget.com/the-cpr-dummy-of-the-future-can-piss-blood-165533305.html?src=rss)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 28, 2024, 08:34:29 pm: Asteroid the size of 64 Canadian geese to pass Earth Tuesday
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on January 28, 2024, 09:15:25 pm: Quote from: excontradiction on January 28, 2024, 08:34:29 pm
Asteroid the size of 64 Canadian geese to pass Earth Tuesday

We all know what sound effect that needs.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on January 28, 2024, 09:24:40 pm: I wasn't sure if that was a 64-goose formation or a 64-goose rillette.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on January 29, 2024, 01:12:05 pm: i simply LOVE that the canada goose has become a standardized unit of measure.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 01, 2024, 12:16:39 pm: NASA Says Empire State Building-Sized Asteroid To Pass Earth Friday

https://www.newsweek.com/nasa-asteroid-empire-state-building-size-flyby-1865684

No mention of goose equivalence or link to converter.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 01, 2024, 12:22:10 pm: Quote from: excontradiction on February 01, 2024, 12:16:39 pm
No mention of goose equivalence or link to converter.
This is where my mind went as soon as I read this headline, the human race needs this calculator!

If you were looking for a “purpose” for your life, this is a noble cause and your legacy will be remembered by this very act
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on February 01, 2024, 12:27:00 pm: Quote from: excontradiction on February 01, 2024, 12:16:39 pm
No mention of goose equivalence or link to converter.

have i mentioned that i love how the goose has become a standardized unit of measure? because i do. i truly do.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 01, 2024, 01:51:55 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on February 01, 2024, 12:27:00 pm
Quote from: excontradiction on February 01, 2024, 12:16:39 pm
No mention of goose equivalence or link to converter.

have i mentioned that i love how the goose has become a standardized unit of measure? because i do. i truly do.
Well, it won’t if someone doesn’t create a conversion tool, take the baton here
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on February 01, 2024, 04:11:22 pm: Custom unit converter (https://www.rapidtables.com/convert/custom-converter.html)

I have not vetted this.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on February 01, 2024, 06:15:32 pm: if i have time i'll build a proper one tonight
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 04, 2024, 06:06:42 pm: Michael Bublé was apparently on mushrooms during the entire NHL All-Star Draft
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 09, 2024, 07:18:13 am: The club better be on the lookout for antenna thieves

‘What do you mean, the tower is gone?’: thieves steal 200ft structure from Alabama radio statio
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 09, 2024, 11:36:29 pm: I don’t know who pat McAfee is, but I like him so far

Pat McAfee and crew slam U2 concert at MSG Sphere: ‘U2 sucks’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on February 10, 2024, 12:41:32 am: Quote from: Semi-Prime-hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 09, 2024, 11:36:29 pm
I don’t know who pat McAfee is, but I like him so far

Pat McAfee and crew slam U2 concert at MSG Sphere: ‘U2 sucks’
This is the first thing Pat McAfee, a chucklehead who platforms chucklefucks, has said that makes sense in years.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: walk, on bye on February 10, 2024, 12:46:44 am: Yes, the one hit wonder band who barely had a career at all and regularly only plays for three or four people at local chili cookouts next to the greased pig contest with only one original band member . . . sure does "suck."

::)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 18, 2024, 10:43:40 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GGncpy0WcAAjAaW?format=jpg&name=large)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 20, 2024, 05:12:14 pm: Phish Hits No. 1 On A Billboard Chart With A 20-Year-Old Album
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 23, 2024, 05:45:50 pm: It’s Friday

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GG-FOfoXoAEASV5.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 23, 2024, 05:57:33 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on February 23, 2024, 05:45:50 pm
It’s Friday

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GG-FOfoXoAEASV5.jpg)
“He used to be a baby, now he’s just a criminal “
Viagria boys
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 28, 2024, 01:24:28 pm: May need to lock this thread as this is a Peak headline

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GHbLoyjWMAA95Jw?format=jpg&name=900x900)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on March 06, 2024, 01:22:53 pm: What Happened After a Man Got 217 Coronavirus Shots
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 07, 2024, 08:22:08 pm: Crazy Town Members Beat Each Other Up in Bloody Fight After Disastrous Gig
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 08, 2024, 03:30:00 pm: Boy, 11, found driving BMW towing caravan on M1
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 11, 2024, 03:41:25 pm: Anti-LGBTQ+ governor signs bill codifying same-sex marriage in Virginia
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 12, 2024, 04:02:33 pm: Trouble in the JA

$500K Sand Dune Designed to Protect Coastal Homes Washes Away in Just 3 Days
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 13, 2024, 01:58:07 pm: Yada, what are you doing in C'ville on a work day?

Masturbating man interrupts forum on Charlottesville jail renovation
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 13, 2024, 04:07:21 pm: A cat in western Japan fell into a vat of toxic chemicals and scampered off into the night, prompting a warning from local officials.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on March 13, 2024, 04:13:18 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on March 13, 2024, 04:07:21 pm
A cat in western Japan fell into a vat of toxic chemicals and scampered off into the night, prompting a warning from local officials.
Covid 2: Electric Boogaloo
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 15, 2024, 12:04:26 pm: Ted Cruz roasted after PornHub pulls out of Texas

really think they actually could have done a much better job with the puns on this one
Jules, how would you title this article?

this isn't bad, but still missed the opportunity for a good pun

Ted Cruz and porn: a brief history
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on March 15, 2024, 12:18:41 pm: Quote from: methylene blue-hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 15, 2024, 12:04:26 pm
Ted Cruz roasted after PornHub pulls out of Texas

really think they actually could have done a much better job with the puns on this one
Jules, how would you title this article?

this isn't bad, but still missed the opportunity for a good pun

Ted Cruz and porn: a brief history

Sure he wasn't spitroasted?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on March 15, 2024, 02:46:10 pm: Quote from: methylene blue-hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 15, 2024, 12:04:26 pm
Ted Cruz roasted after PornHub pulls out of Texas

really think they actually could have done a much better job with the puns on this one
Jules, how would you title this article?
What they've got is pretty good but subbing out "roasted" for "ramrodded" would take it next level.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on March 18, 2024, 12:15:23 pm: Ben Folds Five Marriages
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 18, 2024, 09:50:14 pm: Quote from: grateful on March 18, 2024, 12:15:23 pm
Ben Folds Five Marriages
takes so little effort, but damn is that good
I bet the onion pitched that after his 3rd
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 20, 2024, 05:54:05 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GJIzQrmWcAAxhtV.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on March 20, 2024, 06:28:54 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on March 20, 2024, 05:54:05 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GJIzQrmWcAAxhtV.jpg)
I knew the end of the automatic 6% commissions was going to shake up the real estate industry but I didn’t think Walkie would throw in the cumtowel and find a new profession quite this quickly.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on March 20, 2024, 08:43:36 pm: Quote from: Julian, Forum COGNOSCENTI on March 20, 2024, 06:28:54 pm
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on March 20, 2024, 05:54:05 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GJIzQrmWcAAxhtV.jpg)
I knew the end of the automatic 6% commissions was going to shake up the real estate industry but I didn’t think Walkie would throw in the cumtowel and find a new profession quite this quickly.

First use of cumtowel in board history
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on March 20, 2024, 08:55:56 pm: Quote from: grateful on March 20, 2024, 08:43:36 pm
Quote from: Julian, Forum COGNOSCENTI on March 20, 2024, 06:28:54 pm
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on March 20, 2024, 05:54:05 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GJIzQrmWcAAxhtV.jpg)
I knew the end of the automatic 6% commissions was going to shake up the real estate industry but I didn’t think Walkie would throw in the cumtowel and find a new profession quite this quickly.

First use of cumtowel in board history
I remain a trendsetter well into my third decade on here.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on March 21, 2024, 06:21:05 pm: Toddlers Smell Like Flowers, Teens Smell ‘Goatlike,’ Study Finds (https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/21/science/odor-adolescents-chemistry.html)

Paid for by Matt Gaetz, i'd assume?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on March 29, 2024, 11:46:27 am: My toilet is sweating (https://www.washingtonpost.com/home/2024/03/29/how-to-stop-toilet-condensation/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 19, 2024, 09:31:38 am: I mean bound to happen to all of us at one point or another… they do get up to all sorts in Wales

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GLhU0j-XEAAP67P.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 21, 2024, 08:03:39 am: What could possibly go wrong

Watch a swarm of cyborg cockroaches controlled by computers
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 01, 2024, 05:53:37 pm: I have a new bucket list item

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GMfP4hnXoAAC1_w?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 01, 2024, 08:12:43 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on May 01, 2024, 05:53:37 pm
I have a new bucket list item

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GMfP4hnXoAAC1_w?format=jpg&name=medium)
He needs to be careful. Just watched a movie last night where the police put a person in a piano to electrocute them.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 10, 2024, 01:30:13 pm: Maryland governor signs bill banning the sale of speculative tickets
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on May 10, 2024, 03:21:22 pm: Quote from: ye-ole-hatch ıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 10, 2024, 01:30:13 pm
Maryland governor signs bill banning the sale of speculative tickets

i'm curious to see how this will be enforced. seems that the best way would be for resellers having to prove they have the tickets before they can list them... so upload a photo of the tickets - which can be be faked? show a receipt - which can also be faked? resellers need to hook into original tiket retailer (TM, etc.) to provide confirmation of ticket owners - which would be expensive and potentially have privacy concerns? or will this just be a weak-assed fine on resellers if they're proven to have sold speculative tickets? (so, don't get caught...)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 10, 2024, 03:25:56 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on May 10, 2024, 03:21:22 pm
or will this just be a weak-assed fine on resellers if they're proven to have sold speculative tickets?
Feels like this is almost certainly it.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 10, 2024, 03:32:18 pm: I only though it was a great headline, whether it will actually do anything is another matter
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 18, 2024, 06:09:38 am: See also band names

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GN10pfjXwAAhlGX?format=jpg&name=large)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on May 18, 2024, 12:40:21 pm: Awesome boardie names!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 19, 2024, 11:52:14 am: Quote from: Frosty Finger on May 18, 2024, 12:40:21 pm
Awesome boardie names!
agree and you took the best one
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 23, 2024, 07:19:37 am: Department of Justice to Call for Breakup of Live Nation and Ticketmaster
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 24, 2024, 01:17:45 pm: cross posting to random randomness...

Taylor Swift's cats have condition that causes constant pain, say experts

hmmm i would think there is an external source of the pain :P
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 30, 2024, 08:59:26 am: Sadly further proof Michigan is the Florida of the north

Suspended driver joins court hearing while driving

A judge in the US state of Michigan was surprised when a defendant appeared for his remote court hearing while behind the wheel.
Corey Harris, who is charged with driving on a suspended licence, joined the call from a moving car.
"I don't even know why he would do that," the judge said to the defendant's lawyer.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c133x22kzrpo

As someone pointed out "Apart from perjury, is this the first recorded case of someone committing the same crime they're actually on trial in the middle of the trial?"
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 30, 2024, 09:05:27 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on May 30, 2024, 08:59:26 am
Sadly further proof Michigan is the Florida of the north

Suspended driver joins court hearing while driving

A judge in the US state of Michigan was surprised when a defendant appeared for his remote court hearing while behind the wheel.
Corey Harris, who is charged with driving on a suspended licence, joined the call from a moving car.
"I don't even know why he would do that," the judge said to the defendant's lawyer.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c133x22kzrpo

As someone pointed out "Apart from perjury, is this the first recorded case of someone committing the same crime they're actually on trial in the middle of the trial?"
The look on the guys face when he realizes he's going to be in trouble is priceless.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 30, 2024, 10:33:20 am: The flecks of grey in his beard tell me he's at least in his mid-30s. His friends and family failed him in allowing him to get to such an age with so little awareness of how his behavior is perceived by others. "That Corey, he's just so crazy!" is a permission slip that should've expired when he was 20. Did Corey have multiple trials on his docket and got the charges mixed up? E.g., did he think he was zooming into a reckless driving trial?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 12, 2024, 11:25:13 am: Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 12, 2024, 09:47:33 pm: The plot thickens regarding the dude driving in Michigan

Man Who Went Viral for Virtual Court Appearance for Suspended License While in Car Just Got His Learner's Permit

Style point deduction for linking to people magazine, too lazy to find it elsewhere

https://people.com/man-viral-court-appearance-car-just-got-learner-permit-8660914
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 16, 2024, 07:00:12 am: Since we don’t have the greatest half-headline thread, I’ll just put this here

Baffled bassist wonders why ….
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 17, 2024, 07:41:53 am: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQQI12ZWwAAHvIK.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 17, 2024, 08:30:20 am: This is sounding more and more like what happens when a JA offspring goes wild

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GQRW3KgWwAAZNqA.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 20, 2024, 05:20:12 am: Gettin' some girls:

https://x.com/ScottThuman/status/1803613637325574258
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 01, 2024, 09:52:51 am: do we have a 'only in Florida thread?'

New Florida laws: From shooting bears to stripper restrictions – here’s some of what’s taking effect July 1
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on July 01, 2024, 09:56:47 am: What? WHAT??
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 15, 2024, 04:44:22 pm: Loads of forum content here

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GSi0X8NWMAAGvDT?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on July 15, 2024, 05:34:29 pm: Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass Criticized For Saying “Don’t Miss Trump Next Time” Onstage In Sydney (https://www.stereogum.com/2271726/tenacious-ds-kyle-gass-criticized-for-saying-dont-miss-trump-next-time-onstage-in-sydney/news/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Space Freely on July 15, 2024, 05:50:19 pm: Quote from: nkotb on July 15, 2024, 05:34:29 pm
Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass Criticized For Saying “Don’t Miss Trump Next Time” Onstage In Sydney (https://www.stereogum.com/2271726/tenacious-ds-kyle-gass-criticized-for-saying-dont-miss-trump-next-time-onstage-in-sydney/news/)

I wonder if that will get him on the Secretary of Retribution's list?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on July 15, 2024, 06:14:49 pm: Quote from: nkotb on July 15, 2024, 05:34:29 pm
Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass Criticized For Saying “Don’t Miss Trump Next Time” Onstage In Sydney (https://www.stereogum.com/2271726/tenacious-ds-kyle-gass-criticized-for-saying-dont-miss-trump-next-time-onstage-in-sydney/news/)

What everyone I know is thinking but scared to say….
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 24, 2024, 08:48:21 pm: it's real!
https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-jd-vance-sex-couch-038130326229

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GTSx22-WQAAUTOJ?format=jpg&name=large)

great reply
@cd_hooks
This really speaks to the conceptual limits of factchecking. You have no proof at all this man didn’t have sex with a couch.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on July 24, 2024, 10:32:45 pm: CBS News Captures Circle Jerk At The Airport (https://www.stereogum.com/2273027/spot-the-circle-jerk/news/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on August 02, 2024, 01:44:18 pm: well this news certainly made my friday:

Scientists produce tokamak plasma that’s stable at 10x Greenwald limit (https://interestingengineering.com/energy/tokamak-plasma-stable-10x-greenwald)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 03, 2024, 06:33:26 pm: Pole Vaulters Olympic Dream Shattered By His Own Penis

Cross posted to walky thread

https://x.com/denizthetenis/status/1819702777058377795?s=46&t=81bsTFbar0Jl_mHBl9WnuA
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on August 03, 2024, 07:09:06 pm: Some guys who are packed need to learn how to package better.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 03, 2024, 11:45:43 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on August 03, 2024, 06:33:26 pm
Pole Vaulters Olympic Dream Shattered By His Own Penis

Cross posted to walky thread

https://x.com/denizthetenis/status/1819702777058377795?s=46&t=81bsTFbar0Jl_mHBl9WnuA

https://x.com/fakedansavage/status/1819916620044832864?s=46&t=jcACWCl5JrMz2nxLe-LAMw
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 06, 2024, 07:06:06 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on August 03, 2024, 06:33:26 pm
Pole Vaulters Olympic Dream Shattered By His Own Penis

Cross posted to walky thread

https://x.com/denizthetenis/status/1819702777058377795?s=46&t=81bsTFbar0Jl_mHBl9WnuA

French Vaulter Offered $250K to Flaunt His Infamous Olympic ‘Bulge’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on August 06, 2024, 10:01:36 am: Quote from: Hatchamaticıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 06, 2024, 07:06:06 am
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on August 03, 2024, 06:33:26 pm
Pole Vaulters Olympic Dream Shattered By His Own Penis

Cross posted to walky thread

https://x.com/denizthetenis/status/1819702777058377795?s=46&t=81bsTFbar0Jl_mHBl9WnuA

French Vaulter Offered $250K to Flaunt His Infamous Olympic ‘Bulge’

If he's straight but okay with 95% of the potential audience being gay men, then go for it. It's only an hour.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 08, 2024, 06:40:21 am: CLOSE THE SOUTHERN BORDER (of Virginia) there appears to be an invasion from the south

Florida Man Arrested In Crystal City Bank Robbery
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: vansmack on August 15, 2024, 05:33:19 pm: Couple Driving To Therapy Session No Longer Needs It After Woman Hits Boyfriend With Car (https://jalopnik.com/couple-driving-to-therapy-session-no-longer-needs-it-af-1851623241)

(https://media-cdn.socastsrm.com/wordpress/wp-content/blogs.dir/2396/files/2024/08/gast-veronica.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 20, 2024, 03:46:05 pm: A gay, multi-ethnic, chicken-farming family is part of Minnesota’s emerging polyamorous community
@StarTribune
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 29, 2024, 07:35:32 am: Husband admits adding cocaine, MDMA to wife's Cokes in hopes he would marry her daughter
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Bagley on August 31, 2024, 11:29:09 am: Worker found dead in cubicle four days after she clocked in
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on August 31, 2024, 01:37:42 pm: One of the worst ways to go.

Quote from: Bagley on August 31, 2024, 11:29:09 am
Worker found dead in cubicle four days after she clocked in
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on August 31, 2024, 03:37:06 pm: Quote from: Cock Van Der Palm on August 31, 2024, 01:37:42 pm
One of the worst ways to go.

Quote from: Bagley on August 31, 2024, 11:29:09 am
Worker found dead in cubicle four days after she clocked in
To have never known me? Yes, I concur.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on September 07, 2024, 12:18:59 pm: (https://i.postimg.cc/zXfB6YZd/Screenshot-2024-09-07-at-12-17-09-PM.png)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 12, 2024, 06:46:35 am: Jon Bon Jovi Convinces Woman Not to Jump Off Bridge in Nashville
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on September 13, 2024, 10:16:53 am: maybe he promised no more Bon Jovi albums

Quote from: Hatch, guerrilla-poserll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 12, 2024, 06:46:35 am
Jon Bon Jovi Convinces Woman Not to Jump Off Bridge in Nashville
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 17, 2024, 05:46:58 pm: Johnny Marr rubbishes Morrissey’s claim about Smiths trademark
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 18, 2024, 06:50:48 am: A little morbid, but love the throwback to 80s tech in a war in 2024, I have to imagine
millennials Having no idea what a pager is

Israel Planted Explosives in Pagers Sold to Hezbollah
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 22, 2024, 09:07:14 am: Vegan Food Fest Turns Even More Hellish Than Normal

The ‘Vegan Fyre Festival’ overwhelmed a parking lot in Queens, as Vegandale attendees endured long lines and vegan food.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on September 22, 2024, 04:52:15 pm: ^ i audibly LOLed
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 25, 2024, 12:07:11 pm: (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GYQxqChWIAAV3mT?format=jpg&name=900x900)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 25, 2024, 12:35:37 pm: gets off work computer to look up what a bager den is
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 26, 2024, 07:10:44 am: The Cure: Alone review – majestically wreathed in misery and despair

https://youtu.be/sx9SVAtMkJM?feature=shared
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on September 26, 2024, 09:27:47 pm: So I gather no one was in need of any extra misery and dispair today
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 01, 2024, 07:19:31 am: Coldplay Confirm They Will Retire
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 01, 2024, 12:31:12 pm: Quote from: Multivisti-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 01, 2024, 07:19:31 am
Coldplay Confirm They Will Retire

been burnt by that one before
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 01, 2024, 01:05:36 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on October 01, 2024, 12:31:12 pm
Quote from: Multivisti-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 01, 2024, 07:19:31 am
Coldplay Confirm They Will Retire

been burnt by that one before
I'm still bitter
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 04, 2024, 12:16:33 pm: realizing what's happening in Argentina might be a sensitive issue, but this made me chuckle...

Argentina’s Javier Milei accused of plagiarising UN speech from West Wing

Populist leader alleged to have ‘copied word for word’ a monologue by TV show’s fictional president Jed Bartlet
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 04, 2024, 12:47:14 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 04, 2024, 12:16:33 pm
realizing what's happening in Argentina might be a sensitive issue, but this made me chuckle...

Argentina’s Javier Milei accused of plagiarising UN speech from West Wing

Populist leader alleged to have ‘copied word for word’ a monologue by TV show’s fictional president Jed Bartlet

The first sign something was amiss was when he gave the speech in English.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 07, 2024, 02:46:19 pm: Pair caught with ketamine-filled Kinder eggs in their bums at Creamfields
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 07, 2024, 08:54:01 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on October 07, 2024, 02:46:19 pm
Pair caught with ketamine-filled Kinder eggs in their bums at Creamfields
We are getting ever closer to me telling the story of why I was hugging that one fatty at GwarBQ all those years ago…
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 07, 2024, 09:35:44 pm: Beer can artwork accidentally thrown in bin by staff member at Dutch museum
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 08, 2024, 08:58:26 am: Mexican Coke kicked off Fentanyl tour following reports of frontman fighting an audience member

"Mexican Coke are no longer playing this tour. Pull up for Asbestos as direct support"

a lot to unpack here

https://www.nme.com/news/music/mexican-coke-kicked-off-fentanyl-tour-following-reports-of-frontman-fighting-an-audience-member-3800383
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 08, 2024, 09:04:09 am: personally, I'd take Mexican coke over asbestos any day
but then again I've tried neither, so I know I don't have a lot of credibility here
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 13, 2024, 08:08:00 am: Trump visits Coachella while Harris packs diapers in North Carolina

I’m really not sure what is going on here
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on October 14, 2024, 12:55:36 am: Quote from: election-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 13, 2024, 08:08:00 am
Trump visits Coachella while Harris packs diapers in North Carolina

I’m really not sure what is going on here

i thought diaper-packing was trump's gig...

speaking of trump in coachella: it was a disaster. attendees were forced to park 5 miles away from the private ranch, had shuttle busses to bring them to the rally - but none to take them back after the shindig. predictable chaos ensued. attendees blamed the city, the county, the sheriff, the bus company, the dems/dark brandon... anyone and everyone except trump and the GOP organizers. vids/deets/etc: lol#1 (https://x.com/58bugeye/status/1845461885342318750), and lol#2 (https://x.com/eiralaVpr7/status/1845400506094490068).
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on October 14, 2024, 09:52:58 am: Quote from: sweetcell on October 14, 2024, 12:55:36 am
speaking of trump in coachella: it was a disaster. attendees were forced to park 5 miles away from the private ranch, had shuttle busses to bring them to the rally - but none to take them back after the shindig. predictable chaos ensued. attendees blamed the city, the county, the sheriff, the bus company, the dems/dark brandon... anyone and everyone except trump and the GOP organizers.
Second worst headliner, all time, behind No Doubt.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on October 14, 2024, 10:06:17 am: His fans really like him…
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on October 30, 2024, 02:21:57 pm: Bull Semen Driver Escapes Speeding Ban

and i'm sorry what... driver told the court he was a Bespoke Expert in Canadian Bull Semen and thus need his license to cover a large rural patch
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 31, 2024, 05:57:58 am: Russian Court Fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on October 31, 2024, 09:47:56 am: Quote from: day of love-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 31, 2024, 05:57:58 am
Russian Court Fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

I wonder what the service fees would be
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 31, 2024, 10:35:02 am: Quote from: day of love-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on October 31, 2024, 05:57:58 am
Russian Court Fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Gizmodo estimates that within 219 weeks, which could be in the next few months, Google will owe a googol roubles.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 08, 2024, 08:21:26 am: Celeste fans accidentally end up at death metal band's show who share exact same name
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on November 08, 2024, 12:40:33 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on November 08, 2024, 08:21:26 am
Celeste fans accidentally end up at death metal band's show who share exact same name
Fake news. I have experienced Celeste when she posted on here. No one is a fan of her. Including her husband.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 09, 2024, 08:36:25 am: Quote from: Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT on November 08, 2024, 12:40:33 pm
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on November 08, 2024, 08:21:26 am
Celeste fans accidentally end up at death metal band's show who share exact same name
Fake news. I have experienced Celeste when she posted on here. No one is a fan of her. Including her husband.
when I first read that
I thought for sure he was referencing someone’s wife
Thought it was odd she went to a death metal show
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 09, 2024, 09:30:27 am: When I first saw the tweet referenced in that article, I knew it was going to end up on the forum
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 09, 2024, 12:13:54 pm: I have to say it was pretty annoyed to get a fundraising email from the Harris team this morning
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on November 09, 2024, 12:19:30 pm: Quote from: Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 09, 2024, 12:13:54 pm
I have to say it was pretty annoyed to get a fundraising email from the Harris team this morning

Well it’s the only thing her campaign did well…. Probably tough to cut off the tit.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 09, 2024, 11:15:41 pm: Quote from: hutch on November 09, 2024, 12:19:30 pm
Quote from: Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 09, 2024, 12:13:54 pm
I have to say it was pretty annoyed to get a fundraising email from the Harris team this morning

Well it’s the only thing her campaign did well…. Probably tough to cut off the tit.

Trump returned to twitter to rib her about it

@realdonaldtrump
I am very surprised that the Democrats, who fought a hard and valiant fight in the 2020 Presidential Election, raising a record amount of money, didn’t have lots of $’s left over. Now they are being squeezed by vendors and others. Whatever we can do to help them during this difficult period, I would strongly recommend we, as a Party and for the sake of desperately needed UNITY, do. We have a lot of money left over in that our biggest asset in the campaign was “Earned Media,” and that doesn’t cost very much.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on November 09, 2024, 11:35:28 pm: ^^ This is some of the greatest trolling in history. His first tweet post win. I absolutely respect the game. 🔥 🔥 🔥
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 10, 2024, 08:36:05 am: Mattel’s Wicked Dolls Mistakenly List Adult Film Website on Packaging

Collectors item… worth even more if signed by Jenna Jameson
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 12, 2024, 12:40:54 pm: Glamorous Dem lawmaker 'crashed car while drunk, then mocked cop's penis size'

Far to many juicy details here

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14072583/Glamorous-chicago-Dem-lawmaker-crashed-car-drunk-mocked-cops-penis-size.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on November 12, 2024, 01:23:52 pm: Maybe this is just the Julian's America in me talking, but people that journalists feel the need to label as glamorous really shouldn't have the same legal consequences for their actions as the rest of you. Now, before you get your low-thread-count Target cotton panties in a bunch, I am not suggesting they have no consequences -- just less.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on November 12, 2024, 02:20:50 pm: well It is the Daily Mail... and it would appear she is leading the glamours life of being a Chicago Dem ;D
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on November 12, 2024, 02:25:11 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on November 12, 2024, 02:20:50 pm
well It is the Daily Mail... and it would appear she is leading the glamours life of being a Chicago Dem ;D
Lori Lightfoot is OG JA.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on November 27, 2024, 02:48:47 pm: Viagra Boys Rushed to Hospital After Set Persists for More Than 4 Hours
https://thehardtimes.net/music/viagra-boys-rushed-to-hospital-after-set-persists-for-more-than-4-hours

Your slow, bureaucratic care has gotten us just healthy enough to smoke four packs a day again and has inspired an album’s worth of new lyrics
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 07, 2024, 06:08:00 pm: Camilla Decorates Royal Household With Sick Children

Crossed posted to the JA thread
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on December 07, 2024, 06:15:57 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on December 07, 2024, 06:08:00 pm
Camilla Decorates Royal Household With Sick Children

Crossed posted to the JA thread
OK this is amazing.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 08, 2024, 10:27:28 am: Youngkin: Jordanians ‘crashed’ Quantico. Feds: It was an Amazon delivery.

(This headline should include the sad trombone sound)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 08, 2024, 10:31:14 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on December 07, 2024, 06:08:00 pm
Camilla Decorates Royal Household With Sick Children

Crossed posted to the JA thread
I would say the biggest flaw is some of these kids don’t make it through the whole season and have to be replaced with other sick kids, the juice on this one isn’t worth the squeeze as the holiday season lasts weeks.
This kind of decoration is better for a one off gala events
At least that has been my experience
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on December 08, 2024, 02:37:43 pm: Have you seen the film Salo? Part of the joy of children as decorations is when they die.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 12, 2024, 09:58:45 am: Christmas lights spark brief debate over resemblance to 'underpants on a line'

(https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:irlrdb4p2swljzcdjbhc54gd/bafkreig3rtzxnkb76l6hky5mi425r6yfpzi3ir3abvtmcaogrf7fzo62ka@jpeg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 18, 2024, 08:26:12 am: Oklahoma man driving stolen vehicle caught with rattlesnake, uranium, whiskey and firearm
(https://abcnews.go.com/US/oklahoma-man-driving-stolen-vehicle-caught-rattlesnake-uranium/story?id=64265490)
the sub headline is great too:
Stephen Jennings joked with officers that he was creating a "super snake."
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 18, 2024, 09:02:12 am: Virginia man dies after bear shot in tree falls on him
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on December 18, 2024, 09:41:28 am: Quote from: SideThatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 18, 2024, 09:02:12 am
Virginia man dies after bear shot in tree falls on him
There’s a conservation metaphor somewhere in there.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 18, 2024, 10:11:37 am: Quote from: Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT on December 18, 2024, 09:41:28 am
Quote from: SideThatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 18, 2024, 09:02:12 am
Virginia man dies after bear shot in tree falls on him
There’s a conservation metaphor somewhere in there.
also karma
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 18, 2024, 10:38:32 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on December 18, 2024, 10:11:37 am
Quote from: Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT on December 18, 2024, 09:41:28 am
Quote from: SideThatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 18, 2024, 09:02:12 am
Virginia man dies after bear shot in tree falls on him
There’s a conservation metaphor somewhere in there.
also karma
Maybe even a Russian metaphor too
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on December 19, 2024, 10:25:13 am: 'Gooner 9/11' averted as Zenless Zone Zero's butt-obfuscation technology is rolled back in the face of horny outrage
(https://www.pcgamer.com/games/rpg/gooner-9-11-averted-as-zenless-zone-zeros-butt-obfuscation-technology-is-rolled-back-in-the-face-of-horny-outrage/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 19, 2024, 10:29:01 am: ^ master level headline
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on December 19, 2024, 11:15:56 am: Quote from: SideThatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on December 19, 2024, 10:29:01 am
^ master level headline
Agreed. Hand them the Pulitzer now.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on December 19, 2024, 11:40:03 am: I feel like that Simpsons bit where Lisa see a sign for a "Yahoo Serious Festival"
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 26, 2024, 02:01:51 pm: Tis the season an oldie but a goodie

Christmas service accidentally prints Tupac's "Hail Mary" lyrics
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 28, 2024, 09:51:06 am: Tis the season in St. Mary’s County

Man arrested for disrupting Christmas church services, pouring whiskey into holy water, deputies say

We’ve all contemplated this once right?

https://www.kplctv.com/2024/12/27/man-arrested-disrupting-christmas-church-services-pouring-whiskey-into-holy-water-deputies-say

A witness followed Von Goetz as he exited the church to make sure he was leaving and saw him then assault another person by throwing tangerines.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on December 30, 2024, 12:59:03 pm: Texas cheerleader, 17, is charged with animal cruelty for 'poisoning her rival's show goat'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on December 30, 2024, 01:11:52 pm: Very Tonya
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 03, 2025, 09:23:51 am: Size matters l!

Brussels sprouts will be 25% bigger this year, and may be sexier too
https://bsky.app/profile/theguardian.com/post/3lddyrkw3ip25
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 10, 2025, 12:43:14 pm: Trump Sends Idiot Son on Futile Mission

Related

Busted! Trump’s Greenland Supporters Were Homeless and Socially Disadvantaged People Bribed With Hotel Dinners
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on January 10, 2025, 03:35:21 pm: His son was gathering material for some podcast.

Personally I would like to see the US take over Greenland and also merge with Canada. The Canada thing would have happened in 1776-77 were it but for an accident of history. My understanding is we have tried to buy or acquire Greenland before…

Do I think any of this is likely? No….

But gotta admit it’s damn entertaining and people need to lighten up. Is Trump really serious about any of it!? Probably not….just distraction and fodder for TDS sufferers who embarrass themselves. I mean would it be that terrible to claim Greenland?

I also think we should make Puerto Rico a state and get rid of Maduro in Venezuela.

Instead people want us to spend trillions on the Ukraine losing cause half a world away! Give me a break.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on January 10, 2025, 03:49:07 pm: i think the US should buy argentina instead. i mean, it's a failed state and those people can't handle money so clearly they need the help of someone who understands business, like trump. how many times has that country collapsed in the past 50 years? trump could buy it for pennies on the dollar, with the leftover change from purchasing greenland (a country with actual value, resources, etc.). would make a nice addition to america's growing empire.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on January 10, 2025, 03:58:47 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on January 10, 2025, 03:49:07 pm
i think the US should buy argentina instead. i mean, it's a failed state and those people can't handle money so clearly they need the help of someone who understands business, like trump. how many times has that country collapsed in the past 50 years? trump could buy it for pennies on the dollar, with the leftover change from purchasing greenland (a country with actual value, resources, etc.). would make a nice addition to america's growing empire.

That’s like my dream.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 10, 2025, 04:06:24 pm: PR should definitely be a state
Although there is a fairly large number of people there who don’t want to (but retain all the benefits they currently have)

I don’t know, but would gather Argentina has more resources than Greenland
They definitely have issues with their monetary policy

Would be interesting to see appraisals on but countries
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on January 10, 2025, 04:15:43 pm: The problem is Argentina is a 10 hour flight away and the cultural differences are substantial.

Canada is next door and the cultural difference far less although maybe we could trade Quebec for something else.

Unfortunately the US settled into this 50 state bullshit decades ago.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 10, 2025, 04:18:38 pm: What’s odd is both HI and AK became states when Trump was a teen

TIL AZ and NM didn’t become a state until 1912!

OK was in 1907

Really didn’t know that we only had 45 states in 1906
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 14, 2025, 08:51:30 am: Alabama Shakes leader Brittany Howard just played her first gig with her new hardcore band Kumite, and personally offended punk rock gatekeepers are already crying hot salty tears just thinking about it
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on January 14, 2025, 09:50:22 am: Lazio sack falconer after he gets penile implant ‘to increase sexual performance’ and shares explicit pictures
(https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/32789180/lazio-falconer-penile-implant-pictures-sacked/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 14, 2025, 09:58:23 am: Quote from: nkotb on January 14, 2025, 09:50:22 am
Lazio sack falconer after he gets penile implant ‘to increase sexual performance’ and shares explicit pictures
(https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/32789180/lazio-falconer-penile-implant-pictures-sacked/)

Buried the lede
Bernabe had previously been suspended by the club in 2021 after singing a pro-Mussolini song.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 14, 2025, 10:18:31 am: Quote from: cadhatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 14, 2025, 08:51:30 am
Alabama Shakes leader Brittany Howard just played her first gig with her new hardcore band Kumite, and personally offended punk rock gatekeepers are already crying hot salty tears just thinking about it

maybe Brittany has finally found her true passion, I always thought the Alabama Shakes to be posers and will never forget how people were fawning over how their second record was recorded lo-fi or some such...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on January 15, 2025, 06:26:54 pm: Even better!

Soccer Team Fires Fascism-Loving Mascot Handler for Posting Fake Penis Pics on Social Media
(https://www.latintimes.com/soccer-team-fires-fascism-loving-mascot-handler-posting-fake-penis-pics-social-media-572266)

Quote from: nkotb on January 14, 2025, 09:50:22 am
Lazio sack falconer after he gets penile implant ‘to increase sexual performance’ and shares explicit pictures
(https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/32789180/lazio-falconer-penile-implant-pictures-sacked/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 23, 2025, 01:57:40 pm: now this is what I call thinking outside the box

Mississippi Democrat Launches 'Contraception Begins at Erection Act

Democrat Bradford Blackmon's bill would make it "unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo."

and yes i'm annoyed at myself for the use of "thinking outside the box" here
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on January 23, 2025, 06:49:48 pm: Geez I feel our country is losing an IQ point per day!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 24, 2025, 01:11:32 pm: That bill is next level trolling, if republicans are so eager and willing to pass bills to control what a women can do with her body then the same should be true for controlling what men can do with theirs. And it also got the exactly the reaction from men, the author of the bill expected. It does have an exception for the use of a condom and in vitro fertilization. Quite frankly dems in other red states should be introducing an identical bill.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on January 27, 2025, 04:59:46 pm: sometimes, hiding in plain sight doesn't work:

Florida Woman With Bag That Read 'Definitely Not A Bag Full Of Drugs' Arrested as Bag Was Indeed Full of Drugs (https://www.latintimes.com/florida-woman-bag-that-read-definitely-not-bag-full-drugs-arrested-bag-was-indeed-full-drugs-572927)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:05:53 am: Women in court for aggressively farting at her boyfriend’s ex

Oh it gets better

A judge has let rip at a woman who admitted to sending videos of her breaking wind to her boyfriend’s ex.

Rhiannon Evans, 25, is believed to be the first person to ever face charges for cyber-farting over Christmas.

She sent the videos to Deborah Prytherech who said the videos caused her distress and anxiety.

This whole article is a masterpiece

Police got wind of what had happened and they followed through by arresting her and hauling her before the courts in Caernarfon.

https://metro.co.uk/2025/01/29/woman-charged-inappropriate-videos-uks-first-cyber-farting-case-22459049/
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:24:09 am: This story has totally made my day

Cross posting to the best words thread because someone clearly pulled out the thesaurus

ventosity

flatulence or its cause
pompous inflated conceit or boasting

As in

Evans’ ventosity ended up costing her nearly £300, including £100 compensation for her victim and £199 for court costs.

Also this

Evans will also have to carry out 15 rehabilitation sessions for her sphincter whistles and must abstain from alcohol for two months.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:51:59 am: And yes scrappingforaihatch this happened in Wales
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 30, 2025, 10:05:52 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:51:59 am
And yes scrappingforaihatch this happened in Wales
I don't think all weird things happen in Wales, has more to do with unpronounceable 24 character words

for a breif moment I thought scrappingforaihatch was a welsh word and it made me LOL, but alas you made it up

but
Sessions for her sphincter whistles
is my new band name or could be the title of the next ep
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on January 30, 2025, 10:35:08 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:24:09 am

ventosity

flatulence or its cause
pompous inflated conceit or boasting

Perfect word for describing the kind of arrogant attitudes expressed by Southern politicians. Even fits in with their propensity for using obscure multi-syllable words to appear educated.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on January 30, 2025, 10:37:31 am: Quote from: Justin Tonation on January 30, 2025, 10:35:08 am
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:24:09 am

ventosity

flatulence or its cause
pompous inflated conceit or boasting

Perfect word for describing the kind of arrogant attitudes expressed by Southern politicians. Even fits in with their propensity for using obscure multi-syllable words to appear educated.
Governor Huey Long would be rolling in his grave at this hubristic assault at his brethren's Gothic verbosity! You slander Faulkner himself!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on January 30, 2025, 01:40:30 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on January 30, 2025, 08:05:53 am
Rhiannon Evans, 25, is believed to be the first person to ever face charges for cyber-farting over Christmas.

everyone knows that the correct holiday for farting is the fourth of july
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on January 30, 2025, 05:47:37 pm: the merger between the gov't and corporations is almost complete
what's odd is Trump is more in charge than the corps

I couldn't believe Zuke settled and gave Trump $25 million in that case, but I guess I can believe it

then read how Sinema and LaCivita are joining the board at Crypto Exchange Coinbase

what honestly scared me the most was this sentence:
Trump learned "a lot about [crypto] from Barron" and said that he "wants to be on the forefront" of the industry in his second term."

so not actual experts, but his teenage son...yikes Idiocracy was a documentary
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on January 30, 2025, 05:57:24 pm: Now see, that is textbook fascism.

You read these stories about major German chemical and industrial companies like IG Farben and Krupps and how close they were with the Nazis…. That’s what I always think fascism is…
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on January 30, 2025, 06:46:15 pm: Sinema, what happened to her??
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 10, 2025, 11:53:23 am: does this mean sewage systems are becoming sentient?

"Grease and rags" sewer fatberg halts Bryan Adams concert
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on February 13, 2025, 07:12:14 pm: Metro considers banning violent offenders (https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/metro-considers-banning-violent-offenders/3844260/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on February 13, 2025, 07:41:52 pm: You would think this was already standard practice
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 13, 2025, 10:18:51 pm: Quote from: hutch on February 13, 2025, 07:41:52 pm
You would think this was already standard practice

It’s a great idea until they ban you by mistake and report you to the authorities. And how would they actually go about doing this? Some kind of MSG facial recognition stuff?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on February 13, 2025, 10:19:15 pm: Careful what you ask for. You’re next.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on February 13, 2025, 10:31:31 pm: Quote from: grateful on February 13, 2025, 10:18:51 pm
Quote from: hutch on February 13, 2025, 07:41:52 pm
You would think this was already standard practice

It’s a great idea until they ban you by mistake and report you to the authorities. And how would they actually go about doing this? Some kind of MSG facial recognition stuff?

Lots of places do this (issue a "denial of entry" or similar to individuals who show themselves to be a threat or nuisance). It's very difficult to directly enforce but violators can be legally charged with trespassing, or possibly worse depending on the conditions of the denial. If the WMATA jurisdictions wanted to put some teeth into it, they could enact anti-trespassing laws that embellish sentences for those found guilty of violating a denial of entry order (and perhaps they already do).
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 15, 2025, 07:15:15 am: Peruvian policeman in capybara costume makes Valentine's drug bust
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on February 15, 2025, 11:07:03 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on February 15, 2025, 07:15:15 am
Peruvian policeman in capybara costume makes Valentine's drug bust
Flow was a weird film, man.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 15, 2025, 03:40:15 pm: World number one Sinner banned for three months
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on February 15, 2025, 03:51:50 pm: You would think world number one sinner would deserve a bigger penalty…
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on February 21, 2025, 08:52:06 am: Mark E Smith's £484,000 legacy means all former Fall members get £1.3

(From a hard times like site called the daily mash)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on February 21, 2025, 10:20:07 am: Tory MP 'rescued from brothel with 12 naked women' in suspected honeytrap with 'KGB agent'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 01, 2025, 08:28:53 am: Who amongst us hasn’t done this

One of the men on trial over the theft of a £4.75m gold toilet from Blenheim Palace has admitted he used it the day before it was stolen.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on March 01, 2025, 01:25:21 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on March 01, 2025, 08:28:53 am
Who amongst us hasn’t done this

One of the men on trial over the theft of a £4.75m gold toilet from Blenheim Palace has admitted he used it the day before it was stolen.

This is the trial of the Century in Julian’s America. People have been stealing our bathroom fixtures for decades and people act like it’s a victimless crime.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on March 06, 2025, 09:19:36 am: US Rep. Jasmine Crockett labeled ‘an icon’ for calling President Trump ‘Putin’s ho’ (https://www.lonestarlive.com/politics/2025/03/us-rep-jasmine-crockett-labeled-an-icon-for-calling-president-trump-putins-ho.html)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 06, 2025, 10:13:36 am: wow the bar for Icon has really been lowered
(and I like Crockett)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 09, 2025, 10:32:30 am: Man nearly neck-deep in mud rescued along Mt. Vernon Trail
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on March 09, 2025, 11:35:48 am: Quote from: hAtchsIde lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 09, 2025, 10:32:30 am
Man nearly neck-deep in mud rescued along Mt. Vernon Trail

Ok which one of you was it??? Space?

That reminds me we haven’t heard about his puppy in forever!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 09, 2025, 12:14:30 pm: Kennedy Center to Replace “Hamilton” with New Musical, “Burr”

(Full disclosure this was from the borowitz report)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 11, 2025, 03:26:04 pm: this made me LOL

Firmware update bricks HP printers, makes them unable to use HP cartridges
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 13, 2025, 10:30:13 am: It was no accident! (https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:sk6jryjhuavqchpa53jlcsyu/bafkreihakthgcb2kwqgj6x4oktfoxfqreyqepzpxptbl7rpcyn2uyjlwaa@jpeg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on March 13, 2025, 11:45:32 am: (https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/FuaLjczBP6xJsQy8x6SYH8-320-80.jpg)

I'm going to get into politics!

Quote from: hAtchsIde lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 13, 2025, 10:30:13 am
It was no accident! (https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:sk6jryjhuavqchpa53jlcsyu/bafkreihakthgcb2kwqgj6x4oktfoxfqreyqepzpxptbl7rpcyn2uyjlwaa@jpeg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on March 13, 2025, 01:13:51 pm: Quote from: hAtchsIde lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 13, 2025, 10:30:13 am
It was no accident! (https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:sk6jryjhuavqchpa53jlcsyu/bafkreihakthgcb2kwqgj6x4oktfoxfqreyqepzpxptbl7rpcyn2uyjlwaa@jpeg)

and where is the pro-2A "stand your ground" crowd now, huh?

"he was coming at me with a leash... i knew it was a vet visit... i barked at him to back away but he kept coming, so i exercised my dog-given right to not back down, he got what he deserved..."

it's as if their silence was some kind of a dog whistle
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 16, 2025, 10:14:24 pm: Can A Robot Be a Priest?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on March 17, 2025, 10:31:42 am: Only if its been programmed to molest children.

Quote from: hAtchsIde lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 16, 2025, 10:14:24 pm
Can A Robot Be a Priest?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 17, 2025, 11:13:11 am: Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on March 17, 2025, 11:45:05 am: Quote from: hAtchsIde lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 17, 2025, 11:13:11 am
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those'

well obviously they don't have any escaped gorillas: they've escaped, so by definition they aren't currently in the zoo. duh. people are dumb.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 24, 2025, 12:51:37 pm: Nothing to see here at all

The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2025/03/trump-administration-accidentally-texted-me-its-war-plans/682151/

Peter Segal provides a gift link here

https://bsky.app/profile/petersagal.bsky.social/post/3ll57licyl222
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 25, 2025, 09:51:14 am: Depraved Factory Records guitarist dies behind bars

so i had to look this one up as the guitarist in question was in X-O-Dus the only reggae artists on the label.. he was jailed for sex offences

update he died in 2021 but details of it were released after an inquest hearing this year.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 25, 2025, 06:02:06 pm: Woman slams selfish paragliders who ‘made her think Hamas were invading Doncaster’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 26, 2025, 04:15:59 pm: JA has a message for you whiney poors

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Gm8m-b-W0AAtW7U?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on March 26, 2025, 07:22:11 pm: I mean if you’re eating more than one meal a day, you’re putting on airs.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on March 30, 2025, 07:21:01 am: A lot to unpack here

Georgia bagpiper dies in Hawaii scuba accident days before missing son’s skeletal remains found in backyard treehouse
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on March 30, 2025, 04:30:14 pm: Whoa, that requires multiple readings
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on March 30, 2025, 04:43:28 pm: I lack the intestinal fortitude
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on April 01, 2025, 02:53:35 pm: Someone couldn't resist...

Restaurant chain Hooters goes bust and files for bankruptcy protection (https://wtop.com/business-finance/2025/04/hooters-restaurant-chain-known-for-skimpy-wait-staff-outfits-files-for-bankruptcy-protection/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 01, 2025, 06:57:57 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on April 01, 2025, 02:53:35 pm
Someone couldn't resist...

Restaurant chain Hooters goes bust and files for bankruptcy protection (https://wtop.com/business-finance/2025/04/hooters-restaurant-chain-known-for-skimpy-wait-staff-outfits-files-for-bankruptcy-protection/)
Low hanging fruit (boom siss)

This is better

Tits Up: Hooters Files for Bankruptcy
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 01, 2025, 07:24:04 pm: Tits Up: Hooters Goes Bust

i'll see myself out...
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on April 04, 2025, 09:04:22 am: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/barbarians-who-toppled-roman-empire-34975893
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 04, 2025, 09:15:40 am: Quote from: hutch on April 04, 2025, 09:04:22 am
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/barbarians-who-toppled-roman-empire-34975893
FTFY
Fans who attended Phish concerts were 'high on hallucinogenic drugs' at the time
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 04, 2025, 04:51:25 pm: Mum dropped suitcase on foot to see if it would hurt, and broke foot
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 07, 2025, 04:43:42 pm: Macaulay Culkin storms off stage after fans interrupt his kazoo solo

Oh it gets better

stormed off stage at Nottingham’s Rock City last night after the crowd booed his comedy band and pelted them with full pints of beer

Yes actual story
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 10, 2025, 03:42:04 pm: Parrot screamed "fuck you" at firefighters during rescue and was finally lured down with cigarettes (https://www.gp.se/nyheter/goteborg/papegoja-skrek-fuck-you-till-brandman-och-lockades-ner-med-cigaretter.1173605d-39fe-4efe-b7ec-22e8ec73f91f)

Gothenburg Rescue Services had to rescue a parrot stuck in a tree in Kortedala on Wednesday evening. But the bird was not particularly grateful and is said to have shouted profanities at the firefighters. In the end, the owner had to lure it down with a pack of cigarettes.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Mark_Read on April 11, 2025, 10:33:57 am: Penguin in passenger seat causes helicopter crash in South Africa

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/penguin-south-africa-helicopter-crash-b2731388.html
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on April 11, 2025, 10:37:42 am: Quote from: Mark_Read on April 11, 2025, 10:33:57 am
Penguin in passenger seat causes helicopter crash in South Africa

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/penguin-south-africa-helicopter-crash-b2731388.html

Who the fuck blames a penguin?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on April 11, 2025, 11:02:48 am: Quote from: hutch on April 11, 2025, 10:37:42 am
Quote from: Mark_Read on April 11, 2025, 10:33:57 am
Penguin in passenger seat causes helicopter crash in South Africa

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/penguin-south-africa-helicopter-crash-b2731388.html

Who the fuck blames a penguin?

(https://i.imgur.com/ptp9AKP.gif)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 14, 2025, 11:58:24 am: Quote from: hutch on April 11, 2025, 10:37:42 am
Quote from: Mark_Read on April 11, 2025, 10:33:57 am
Penguin in passenger seat causes helicopter crash in South Africa

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/penguin-south-africa-helicopter-crash-b2731388.html

Who the fuck blames a penguin?

what, you think they got tariffed just because??
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on April 14, 2025, 12:36:38 pm: California punk rockers call for an 'army of Luigis' during brash Coachella set (https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/calif-punk-stalwarts-army-of-luigis-coachella-20274319.php)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 14, 2025, 02:46:35 pm: also, the new band thread is over there
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 19, 2025, 10:04:24 am: Who amongst us doesn’t have this as a life goal

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Go0n-i6XkAAX-cq.jpg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on April 19, 2025, 10:14:08 am: I expect a future conversation

What are you in for??

Hookers and blow!

Really?

Yeah 170k big ones

Respect
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on April 19, 2025, 04:41:54 pm: I call bullshit.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 21, 2025, 08:09:57 am: Why Does Everyone Hate Katy Perry So Much?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 21, 2025, 01:37:24 pm: Quote from: BarelyHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 21, 2025, 08:09:57 am
Why Does Everyone Hate Katy Perry So Much?

the katy perry/rich women in space story has the same vibe as gal godot's "imagine" cover/video (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imagine_(Gal_Gadot_video)) from the start of the pandemic. in both cases, the participants had good intentions and high hopes for their endeavor... unfortunately they were both completely tone-deaf.

it's so hard to be an out-of-touch multi-millionaire... i feel we should all turn to JA for guidance and solace in these trying times.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on April 21, 2025, 01:59:01 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on April 21, 2025, 01:37:24 pm
i feel we should all turn to JA for guidance and solace in these trying times.
Finally!
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on April 21, 2025, 02:40:12 pm: Quote from: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on April 21, 2025, 01:59:01 pm
Quote from: sweetcell on April 21, 2025, 01:37:24 pm
i feel we should all turn to JA for guidance and solace in these trying times.
Finally!

Also, Julian's current forum handle is perfect for introducing him to the likes of Perry and Godot. How could they refuse an offer of help from someone so monikered?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 24, 2025, 04:17:48 pm: Swedish punks Viagra Boys: ‘It’s freeing for people to see a dude let his gut hang out’

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2025/apr/21/swedish-punks-viagra-boys-interview-sebastian-murphy-viagr-aboys
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on April 24, 2025, 04:20:56 pm: No. Just NO.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 24, 2025, 04:25:05 pm: Quote from: hutch on April 24, 2025, 04:20:56 pm
No. Just NO.
says the skinniest guy I know
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on April 24, 2025, 05:04:13 pm: Pope Francis’ sense of style signaled a dramatic shift for the Catholic Church
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 24, 2025, 07:49:45 pm: Quote from: grateful on April 24, 2025, 05:04:13 pm
Pope Francis’ sense of style signaled a dramatic shift for the Catholic Church

like i said: there is no saving this country.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 12:38:44 pm: Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year

https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/08/male-sex-robots-unstoppable-bionic-penises-coming-year-7213306/

Hmm dated 2018… what ended up happening?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on April 28, 2025, 12:42:21 pm: Quote from: BarelyHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 12:38:44 pm
Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year

https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/08/male-sex-robots-unstoppable-bionic-penises-coming-year-7213306/

Hmm dated 2018… what ended up happening?

they came, and went
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 12:44:42 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on April 28, 2025, 12:42:21 pm
Quote from: BarelyHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 12:38:44 pm
Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year

https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/08/male-sex-robots-unstoppable-bionic-penises-coming-year-7213306/

Hmm dated 2018… what ended up happening?

they came, and and took a nap
FTFY
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on April 28, 2025, 02:15:45 pm: Quote from: BarelyHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 12:38:44 pm
Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year

https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/08/male-sex-robots-unstoppable-bionic-penises-coming-year-7213306/

Hmm dated 2018… what ended up happening?
They exist. Why do you think Walkie disappears for months at a time?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 02:59:02 pm: Quote from: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on April 28, 2025, 02:15:45 pm
Quote from: BarelyHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on April 28, 2025, 12:38:44 pm
Male sex robots with unstoppable bionic penises are coming this year

https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/08/male-sex-robots-unstoppable-bionic-penises-coming-year-7213306/

Hmm dated 2018… what ended up happening?
They exist. Why do you think Walkie disappears for months at a time?
I was tempted to add this to the walkie thread
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 02, 2025, 06:14:12 am: Billy Corgan’s Chicago Tea Shop Was Hit by a Car. Again.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 04, 2025, 10:18:34 am: Chicago Museum Director Under Investigation After Airplane Incident
James Rondeau, the director of the Art Institute of Chicago, took a voluntary leave after a report that he stripped off his clothes during a flight to Germany.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 04, 2025, 03:40:16 pm: Quote from: grateful on May 04, 2025, 10:18:34 am
Chicago Museum Director Under Investigation After Airplane Incident
James Rondeau, the director of the Art Institute of Chicago, took a voluntary leave after a report that he stripped off his clothes during a flight to Germany.

He was running late and getting ready for his ride to the Berghain.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 04, 2025, 03:55:41 pm: This is bonkers
Looks like big balls and AI made this ad

https://youtu.be/La8FvfLzkNU
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 05, 2025, 01:05:36 pm: Child Visiting Museum Damages Painting Worth $50M
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on May 05, 2025, 01:57:57 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on May 04, 2025, 03:40:16 pm
Quote from: grateful on May 04, 2025, 10:18:34 am
Chicago Museum Director Under Investigation After Airplane Incident
James Rondeau, the director of the Art Institute of Chicago, took a voluntary leave after a report that he stripped off his clothes during a flight to Germany.

He was running late and getting ready for his ride to the Berghain.

^high quality comment
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 07, 2025, 07:02:20 am: So much to unpack here

Woman arrested after raccoon named Chewy found with meth pipe in driver's seat during police stop

For the record this occurred In OHIO not Florida or Michigan
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 07, 2025, 09:26:50 am: ‘Luigi the Musical’s the hottest show in town, and it hasn’t even opened yet.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on May 07, 2025, 09:14:05 pm: Dumbest thing ever

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq808px90wxo
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 07, 2025, 10:26:50 pm: Quote from: hutch on May 07, 2025, 09:14:05 pm
Dumbest thing ever

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq808px90wxo
Maybe we should allow a Ouija board next. How about a seance? Could a psychic get the deceased to give their impact statement?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on May 07, 2025, 11:38:53 pm: I see what you did there….
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 09, 2025, 08:14:12 am: Metallica rocked Virginia Tech concert so hard it registered as a small earthquake
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on May 09, 2025, 01:03:32 pm: Quote from: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 09, 2025, 08:14:12 am
Metallica rocked Virginia Tech concert so hard it registered as a small earthquake

saw some vids of Enter Sandman @ VT... not gonna lie, looked epic.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 09, 2025, 08:36:13 pm: More details and what a subheading

(https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:rrrz7ybcoecyzw6clbrheekb/bafkreihciigb4hbeivhcsytlfgcmifberee7u2s5mgy54cg53hbfxq4usa@jpeg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 09, 2025, 10:34:52 pm: There’s video of the entire thing and it’s exactly what you’re hoping it is.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: nkotb on May 10, 2025, 09:38:50 am: (https://i.redd.it/7wizo4oyxv6d1.jpeg)

Quote from: hutch on May 07, 2025, 09:14:05 pm
Dumbest thing ever

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq808px90wxo
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 13, 2025, 10:09:49 am: Trump mocked for looking 'more orange than usual'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 13, 2025, 12:28:04 pm: I legit almost fell for an Onion headline, the rage was bubbling up

“Texas Bans Being Different Around Children”
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 13, 2025, 12:40:06 pm: Don’t usually get good headlines from music sites but here you go

Boy Hits Car Concert Canceled After Truck Hits Venue
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 13, 2025, 02:51:52 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on May 13, 2025, 12:40:06 pm
Don’t usually get good headlines from music sites but here you go

Boy Hits Car Concert Canceled After Truck Hits Venue

An out-of-control dumptruck full of fill dirt. It's a wonder it didn't plow through the whole building.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 13, 2025, 02:53:49 pm: This headline gets worse with every word: Two nights in Vegas with the fan-bros of UFC (https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2025/05/10/two-nights-vegas-with-fan-bros-ufc/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on May 13, 2025, 03:13:27 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on May 13, 2025, 02:53:49 pm
This headline gets worse with every word: Two nights in Vegas with the fan-bros of UFC (https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2025/05/10/two-nights-vegas-with-fan-bros-ufc/)

5,555
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 13, 2025, 05:16:34 pm: Quote from: Justin Tonation on May 13, 2025, 02:53:49 pm
This headline gets worse with every word: Two nights in Vegas with the fan-bros of UFC (https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2025/05/10/two-nights-vegas-with-fan-bros-ufc/)
TBH, first 7 are fairly pedestrian and hardly 'great headline' worthy
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 13, 2025, 05:25:26 pm: Quote from: BarelyHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 13, 2025, 05:16:34 pm
Quote from: Justin Tonation on May 13, 2025, 02:53:49 pm
This headline gets worse with every word: Two nights in Vegas with the fan-bros of UFC (https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2025/05/10/two-nights-vegas-with-fan-bros-ufc/)
TBH, first 7 are fairly pedestrian and hardly 'great headline' worthy

Should I have posted it in the "This headline gets worse with every word" thread?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 14, 2025, 02:31:29 pm: Oasis to release new album of unoriginal material

Wait, so what were their other releases ;)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 18, 2025, 11:25:27 am: We never get juicy scandals like this, just corruption

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GrOekZAXsAAPTN0?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 24, 2025, 06:53:48 pm: Punk band releases record that ‘smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina’
By Aidin Vaziri,

Credit to JW of course

https://www.sfchronicle.com/entertainment/article/australian-punk-scented-vinyl-goop-20341262.php
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 28, 2025, 08:57:40 pm: Turkey to fine passengers for standing up too soon on planes

I somewhat feel the penalty is not enough, but I’ll take this as a win
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on May 28, 2025, 09:13:11 pm: Quote from: GuruHatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 28, 2025, 08:57:40 pm
Turkey to fine passengers for standing up too soon on planes

I somewhat feel the penalty is not enough, but I’ll take this as a win
A deterrent that the wealthy can afford is not a deterrent to the wealthy.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on May 28, 2025, 09:16:24 pm: I would love for these people to self combust upon getting up too early

Same fate for people who push seats as far back as they can while one tries to eat…would be nice. Obviously this only happens in cattle class.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on May 28, 2025, 09:44:00 pm: I think it would be great if a part of the social contract included a clause that we could shoot a spitball at one of these early standers and face no repercussions
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on May 28, 2025, 11:10:17 pm: The standing O passengers should be tossed out with the baggage and forced to ride the carousel.

Does Turkey have progressive fines, i.e. the higher one's income the higher the fine?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on May 29, 2025, 10:01:08 am: Maryland is the “U.S. State That Swears The Most” According to Study

Feeling confident that this scene tipped the scales

NSFW duh..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNVEQgXsBgs
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 01, 2025, 02:56:47 pm: Uhhh, guys?

Ozzy Osbourne Thinks He Will ‘Die’ On Stage
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: grateful tagle zuppi pizzaboli on June 02, 2025, 01:57:55 pm: Louisiana Passes Bill to Ban 'Chemtrails'
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 05, 2025, 11:14:15 am: ‘Big Balls’ Is Officially a Full-Time Government Employee
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on June 05, 2025, 09:25:24 pm: Man, right on the eve of World Pride:

Trump and Musk’s relationship flames out just as intensely and publicly as it started (https://wtop.com/government/2025/06/trump-says-hes-disappointed-with-musk-after-he-turned-on-the-republican-tax-bill/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on June 06, 2025, 12:54:23 am: Wouldn’t be surprised if in the end it’s all an act. Trump thrives on controversy and this helps Musk. It kind of helps both of them.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on June 06, 2025, 11:10:42 am: Quote from: hutch on June 06, 2025, 12:54:23 am
Wouldn’t be surprised if in the end it’s all an act. Trump thrives on controversy and this helps Musk. It kind of helps both of them.
this wouldn’t surprise me either… kinda a distraction to get the BBB passed
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 12, 2025, 06:37:12 am: Mule-riding Kentucky man accused of unleashing raccoon in bar after being turned away

Aka Cowboy Cody
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 16, 2025, 07:25:28 pm: Our dear leader hit with embarrassing military parade claim: ‘Don Snoreleone strikes again’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 17, 2025, 01:14:48 pm: no need to carry on with this thread

Nick Cave says he declined Morrissey’s request to sing ‘silly anti-woke screed’ on new song
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on June 18, 2025, 06:46:53 pm: The Pakistani government is moving to crack down on occult practices that lawmakers call a threat to the country’s social fabric. Spiritual practitioners see it as a bad omen. https://nyti.ms/3G5a20R

[slow golf clap]
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on June 23, 2025, 05:50:05 am: Giant sphere falls from sky in Indiana after severe weather sweeps through

(https://images.foxtv.com/static.livenowfox.com/www.livenowfox.com/content/uploads/2025/06/764/432/b36f9c94-screenshot-2025-06-20-at-2.59.53%E2%80%AFpm-e1750446288608.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on June 23, 2025, 09:53:50 am: I used to hit swamp rats no bigger than that opening all the time as a kid.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 02, 2025, 06:10:53 am: Billie Joe Armstrong Kicks Fan Offstage for Playing Oasis Instead of Green Day
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 02, 2025, 06:56:14 am: Baller move
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 03, 2025, 10:43:25 am: Furious mother 'squirted her boob' at a woman who told her to move while she was breastfeeding because it was distracting her husband
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Cock Van Der Palm on July 03, 2025, 11:19:56 am: Baller move.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 03, 2025, 11:35:50 am: Quote from: Cock Van Der Palm on July 03, 2025, 11:19:56 am
Baller move.
Yeah, fresh human milk sells at a premium. That's the good stuff! To just be tossing this around without a care in the world is very Julian's America, or as the kids would say, "baller".
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 03, 2025, 12:06:45 pm: Quote from: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 03, 2025, 11:35:50 am
Quote from: Cock Van Der Palm on July 03, 2025, 11:19:56 am
Baller move.
Yeah, fresh human milk sells at a premium. That's the good stuff! To just be tossing this around without a care in the world is very Julian's America, or as the kids would say, "baller".
there is a huge black-market (or white-market) for this stuff. So, can confirm
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 03, 2025, 12:16:50 pm: Quote from: vinly-Hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 03, 2025, 12:06:45 pm
Quote from: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 03, 2025, 11:35:50 am
Quote from: Cock Van Der Palm on July 03, 2025, 11:19:56 am
Baller move.
Yeah, fresh human milk sells at a premium. That's the good stuff! To just be tossing this around without a care in the world is very Julian's America, or as the kids would say, "baller".
there is a huge black-market (or white-market) for this stuff. So, can confirm
Oh, yeah, don't let a health inspector know you're trafficking in this particular ambrosia (even if you just plan to make it into ice cream for your own personal consumption) or you're going to get jammed up and ostracized from the community.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 03, 2025, 12:17:29 pm: so technically this move is done from a little higher up...

but i'll allow it
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on July 06, 2025, 07:05:56 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on June 23, 2025, 05:50:05 am
Giant sphere falls from sky in Indiana after severe weather sweeps through

(https://images.foxtv.com/static.livenowfox.com/www.livenowfox.com/content/uploads/2025/06/764/432/b36f9c94-screenshot-2025-06-20-at-2.59.53%E2%80%AFpm-e1750446288608.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)

baller move?
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 06, 2025, 07:36:21 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on July 06, 2025, 07:05:56 pm
Quote from: kosmo vinyl on June 23, 2025, 05:50:05 am
Giant sphere falls from sky in Indiana after severe weather sweeps through

(https://images.foxtv.com/static.livenowfox.com/www.livenowfox.com/content/uploads/2025/06/764/432/b36f9c94-screenshot-2025-06-20-at-2.59.53%E2%80%AFpm-e1750446288608.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)

baller move?
These are not the dirt worms you are looking for.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 06, 2025, 07:56:25 pm: Quote from: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 06, 2025, 07:36:21 pm
These are not the dirt worms you are looking for.
that's the second star wars ref in just a few parsecs, has someone taken over the Julian account, this just does not pass the sniff test
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 07, 2025, 09:50:27 am: Quote from: vinly-Hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 06, 2025, 07:56:25 pm
Quote from: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 06, 2025, 07:36:21 pm
These are not the dirt worms you are looking for.
that's the second star wars ref in just a few parsecs, has someone taken over the Julian account, this just does not pass the sniff test
Honestly, I meant it to be a Dune reference.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 09, 2025, 04:10:57 pm: McDonald’s AI Hiring Bot Exposed Millions of Applicants’ Data to Hackers Who Tried the Password ‘123456’
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: hutch on July 09, 2025, 04:13:40 pm: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on July 09, 2025, 04:10:57 pm
McDonald’s AI Hiring Bot Exposed Millions of Applicants’ Data to Hackers Who Tried the Password ‘123456’

It’s expensive being poor…
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 10, 2025, 05:28:08 am: Police investigate after man seen masturbating in Tesla
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 10, 2025, 05:28:39 am: Florida Keys man marks birthday by doing meth, stealing Conch Train and picking up riders, cops say
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 11, 2025, 11:02:17 pm: Vaginal weightlifter sex coach charged with assaulting census taker who knocked at door
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 12, 2025, 07:06:43 am: UK households told to leave loft hatch open for the next seven days
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 12, 2025, 10:17:36 am: When I first read that I thought it said love hatch
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on July 16, 2025, 09:34:44 pm: Tricycle strapped to roof of car, bow and arrow, medieval weapon lead to man’s arrest near US Capitol (https://wtop.com/local/2025/07/tricycle-strapped-to-roof-of-car-bow-and-arrow-medieval-weapon-lead-to-mans-arrest-near-us-capitol/)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 16, 2025, 11:28:16 pm: I feel like that headline needs some editing
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 19, 2025, 06:33:42 am: (https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:vckf3haopb3yncclmf7o2m3f/bafkreidqiaxbezatkti3rpsfkvwnuy44kwkwc2yaxiwrx3rmbpsk6iigyq@jpeg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on July 19, 2025, 09:22:31 am: This might be peak headline

(https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:vckf3haopb3yncclmf7o2m3f/bafkreif5meaxw6ulncbrtxzke3sakne2ud2i52e6ddi23nawvj4tmoqd3i@jpeg)
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 19, 2025, 09:26:15 am: Quote from: kosmo vinyl on July 19, 2025, 09:22:31 am
This might be peak headline

(https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:vckf3haopb3yncclmf7o2m3f/bafkreif5meaxw6ulncbrtxzke3sakne2ud2i52e6ddi23nawvj4tmoqd3i@jpeg)
If the headline cut off after “turns out to be a . . . “ and you gave me ten million guesses as to the end of the sentence, I never even would’ve gotten close.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on July 19, 2025, 09:27:11 am: Also, and this is really a JA topic, people who conflate “a duvet cover” with “a duvet” are showing their ass.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on July 28, 2025, 01:59:18 pm: Pastor and wife charged with $1m fraud after ‘God told him’ to sell crypto to his flock and spent it on vacations
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 07, 2025, 01:02:04 pm: British politician wants death penalty for suicide bombers
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 10:06:48 am: Rappers You Forgot Are Currently In Prison
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 10:53:33 am: Beloved by bands and bank robbers, the Ford Transit turns 60
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on August 11, 2025, 12:45:11 pm: Quote from: NoMoreMr.Nice-Hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 10:53:33 am
Beloved by bands and bank robbers, the Ford Transit turns 60

i feel that "beloved" is being thrown around rather loosely here. this adjective is being eroded.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 02:40:05 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on August 11, 2025, 12:45:11 pm
Quote from: NoMoreMr.Nice-Hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 10:53:33 am
Beloved by bands and bank robbers, the Ford Transit turns 60

i feel that "beloved" is being thrown around rather loosely here. this adjective is being eroded.
Agreed, but I saw that headlne and there was just now way I couldn't post it here

look at all these news stories from just today
(https://i.imgur.com/9l35twj.png)
this one was just on the next page and had to share (there are like ten pages and the oldest one is like 3 days old)

I gave the zoo my daughter’s beloved pony to be fed to the lions

I think we've hit peak beloved
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Julian, Hyperpop SLUTFUCK on August 11, 2025, 03:02:53 pm: Everybody beloves somebody some times.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 03:23:51 pm: Beloved is too weak a word for what I feel – I belurve you, you know, I Beloave you, I beluff you.
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: sweetcell on August 11, 2025, 04:43:39 pm: Quote from: NoMoreMr.Nice-Hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 03:23:51 pm
I Beloave you

acceptable only in pastry-related situations
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: Justin Tonation on August 11, 2025, 09:12:07 pm: Quote from: sweetcell on August 11, 2025, 04:43:39 pm
Quote from: NoMoreMr.Nice-Hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 11, 2025, 03:23:51 pm
I Beloave you

acceptable only in pastry-related situations

I beloathe you

Hating for the first time
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 17, 2025, 11:09:48 am: Liam Gallagher Says He Can No Longer Throw His Maracas Into Crowd Due to Poor Fan Behavior
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: kosmo vinyl on August 22, 2025, 08:53:31 am: 'Ritual mass murder' report in Chapel St Leonards was yoga class
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on August 30, 2025, 07:26:28 pm: Country star Bryan Martin removed from stage by police

ok one juicy line from the copy: sparking speculation that he was performing while intoxicated
the headline makes it sound like a trump era takedown of some woke artist, but thankfully that's not the case
Title: Re: The Great Headline thread
Post by: SeriousSideFX lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl on September 03, 2025, 01:30:46 pm: Slushi bandit busted